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Saturday, July 13, 2013

Victory! Victory! Victory!

Dear George,
Victory! I finally kicked out my parents from the master bedroom and the master bed, of course!
Look at me in the pictures attached to see how happy I am. But, let me tell you how I did it J  This past Monday was a culmination of about 10 days and nights with over 100% humidity and 30 degrees (Celsius).  Everybody was just exhausted by the heat and lying motionless on the bed.
That’s when a major storm hit us and by-by power; for 2 days and nights we had no electricity and no A/C. That was my chance George! I pretended that I can’t sleep unless I’m close to them and started sleeping between the two snuggling either with her or him.
By the second night neither one of them could take it anymore; the first to leave was him, of course.
He moved in a spare bedroom with a small bed; soon she followed him….but in a different spare bedroom. Ha! Ha! Ha! Not only that I have the whole master bedroom for me now ….but I managed to get them separated at night too! And this is a good thing, right?
George, the truth is that I’m in a bit of a dilemma and I need your advice. The other day I heard the human kitten (who calls himself a young professional – whatever that is) that my human parents are somewhere in Europe. That scared me a little. Do you think I kicked them too hard?
That hard that they got to Europe?  How do I bring them back?
A little scared
CAT Victoria

Dear Victoria
Many congratulations for a huge feline achievement. You have succeeded where so many of us have failed. You have managed to keep your humans off your bed altogether. This is the pinnacle of the cat master plan, the apex of human training, the gold standard for the cat-human relationship. Congratulations.
You've done it. You have proved that you are in total control.....
Now be generous. You know you can do it, so now you are free to take pity on them. Remember humans are emotional beings that need feline contact. If they cannot sleep in your company they may start suffering separation distress - becoming vocal, clinging, trying to pick you up, interrupting your sleep, harassing you for affection. They can't help it: it's just their general neediness.
This is the moment to be generous. Let them have a little bit of your bed at night.  


  1. Excellent work Victoria, a true victory. George is right, do allow them, perhaps one or two nights per month in your bed. Perhaps you could ask at the GP surgery and put some posters up if they don't come home soon?

    Gerry & Mungo

  2. way to go! You'd love my post today too - so similar

  3. You worked darn hard! Good Job Victoria. Bravo!
    Now, let them sleep on the edge of the bed - he on one edge and she on the other :-)

    PS. You look very pretty under that cover

  4. Now you have to meow loud enough for them to hear you and come back!
    Be affectionate upon their return if you want to have "natural" heaters winter time.

  5. Dear George,

    I have to translate your blog into German (reading and speaking no English), and find it great.
    Since cat can learn a lot on how to deal with people. ;-)

    Best regards from Switzerland, Lake Constance.

    Fiona and her mom Julia


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online