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Saturday, March 23, 2013

Punish with active ignoring and withering looks.

Dear George,
Do you know what Costa Rica is or where it is? I’m asking because I found out that my human pets left for Costa Rica and will be back in about 2 weeks. I think it must be far enough if it takes them 2 weeks to get back home. So, I’m home alone with the human kitten who is now a young adult ….but he’s such a kid at heart; he loves me very much and plays hooky to spend time with me; we sleep late and best of all we eat junk food.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not angry with my human pets since they sneaked out the house and off to Costa Rica whatever that is. I have planned how to punish them but I’d like your opinion and suggestions too. Here is my plan: when they come back I’m going to isolate myself in this limited space as per photo attached. I planned to ignore them completely and I’m going to refuse food. Since I was on junk food (with the human kitten) I never had to open a can while they were away so I’ll make them believe that I missed them so much that I wasn’t eating! I want them to feel guilty, guilty, and guilty!   
But, George, how long can I stay without eating? I heard cats can’t be without food for more then 12 hours. Is that right? Ugh! I hope I don’t need to starve myself for such a long time. I just hope that my human pets have some common sense and will feel guilty in the first hour.
Hugs
CAT Victoria

Dear Victoria,
Not eating.... well it will worry your humans, no doubt. But it's a strategy that is punishing for you as well as them. I wouldn't do it, Victoria. Cats that have a cat flap can do this more easily because they can just saunter down the road and break into a house to eat another cat's food. Or just find themselves another human feeder. But you can't do this and you are used to regular meals. 
Putting yourself in an isolated space and refusing to acknowledge your humans is a much better idea. Refuse to share the bed with them at night - instead go to the young adult human's bed. Stay away from any shared armchair and absolutely show your dislike of their laps. If you have to share the same room, turn your whole body away, look away from them, and make it clear you are thinking of higher thoughts.
Just to punish them a little further. Lavish affection on the young adult. Leap into his arms, cuddle up on his lap, purr loudly in his ear. You love him so much that you don't care a fig for the humans that abandoned you for a whole two weeks. 
Also don't forget the withering look. We cats do a wonderful slow withering and contemptuous gaze when we want to put humans in their place. JDI. Just do it. It makes humans feel small.
Hugs
George
PS. For UK cats reading this, be careful when you go out in the snow.  Rock salt put on the roads to get rid of the snow is poisonous. So if you get it on your paws, ask your human to wash and dry them on your return. 
PPS. Very pleased by comment below on being a whisperer. Shall update my profile immediately. 

6 comments:

Katie Isabella said...

George..I am so glad to meet you! I know we have before but somehowe I haven't seen you till now I don't think. I love your advice!

Cherry City Kitties said...

George, as usual, you have pawesome advice!
Harry, Dexter and Tipp

Layla Morgan Wilde ( Cat Wisdom 101) said...

George you sound like human whisperer to us :-0

mavisvermillion said...

Hi George!

Is it a good idea to use cat repellents like SSScat for cats if you want them to teach to stay away from such areas of your home?

Vegas said...

Don't starve yourself - it's not worthy. Humans will still go on trips or move together and make your life miserable.
Just IGNORE them until they come on their knees and beg for forgiveness!
Vegas

Diego said...

Make them feel GUILTY to their bones.
You are a cute girl....you can do it!
Diego

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org