Follow by Email

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Safety and welfare - can I sue?

Dear George
I have a big problem to discuss with you. I think I’m going to sue my humans now that I have two of them! But here is my story. You remember that I was forced into moving into a new house with another human and three other cats just because my human couldn’t live alone. Phew! However, I found my perfect spot in the new house and that was on the rail on the second floor. Well, this was perfect since none of the other cats will come up here, not even my Princess.  But, yesterday I fell asleep and I had a taught wake up! Yes, I fell off the rail! My humans rushed me to be checked and learning that I’m ok they start laughing…..like silly Vegas! ha!ha!ha! I’m so furious that I decide to sue them. I investigated few cases here and I can sue them for so many things! I’ll definitely have the last laugh in my case. Over here if you go to a coffee shop, get a coffee that you spill over you trying to get in the car…..you can sue the coffee shop for selling you a hot coffee. Or, if you are burglar that gets into someone’s home, gets stuck in the garage for a week so you have to eat the cat or dog food, drink all coca-cola cans you can find around you can sue the owner for getting sick over the cat food! So, I want to discuss my list with you. What should I sue them for? I can sue them for negligence – they didn’t provide any “how to” instructions book. Second – for not installing hammocks all around so I can fall in the net. Third – for not providing me with a helmet. Four – for the stress created by the visit to the vet! And the list can on and on! Don’t I prove I’m more mature now? So, what do you think George?
Furious
Vegas

Dear Vegas,
Suing your human for negligence would be a first. But what a breakthrough for cats, and for all animals too. I think you have stacked up the charges nicely - failure to give you safe instructions, failure to install safety features such as nets below the rail, stress from vet's visit (don't we all suffe from that!). Brilliantly laid out. Brilliantly noted, Vegas.
There is a Harvard professor, Professor Cass Sunstein, who believes animals should be able to sue under human legislation. Well not quite. He wants humans to sue on our behalf. Purrsonally I would like my day in court. If only for the moment when I could turn round and start washing my bottom when some animal abuser is talking.
Here is what the Prof says: "My simplest suggestion is that private citizens should be given the right to bring suits to prevent animals from being treated in a way that violates current law. I offer a recommendation that is theoretically modest but that should do a lot of practical good: laws designed to protect animals against cruelty and abuse should be amended and interpreted to give a private cause of action against those who violate them, so as to allow private people to supplement the efforts of public prosecutors. Somewhat more broadly, I will suggest that animals should be permitted to bring suit, with human beings as their representatives, to prevent violations of current law."
In the mean time, isn't it vile, absolutely evil, when humans laugh at us. I hate it more than anything else. Sticks and stones - bring 'em on. Laughter? I can feel my inner dignity shrink and my gracefulness wither under it.
Yours
George

6 comments:

  1. Told you so....how many times?
    And....she's not going to change :-)
    Love
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  2. George, she needs time off too :-)
    I don't understand why would she attend a conference about dogs but maybe it's just because she wants to reinforce that cats are smarter.
    Give her purrs & hugs!
    Cayenne

    PS. I don't understand why my sister is watching and chasing Celia so much

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are you all fooled by Celia?
    Guys, it's St. Patrick's Day ....almost! Of course she off having fun! "Conference about dogs" - LOL!
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  4. CAT VictoriaMarch 17, 2013

    Whatever the reason she's taking time off from her duties....it's her right to do so based on the Dept. of Labor. She can even sue some of you for ....whatever(guess...harassment?)
    CAT Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  5. George,

    Celia has been signing her name to your work. What a liberty! If you don't put her in her place, what's next? Using your litter box? Eating all the stinky cat food? Sleeping? Personally, I think you ought to sue her for plagiarism. That'll teach her not to sign your blog. And for Vegas, let us not forget the punitive damages--the emotional distress you suffered when your dignity was assaulted by being laughed at by such obviously negligent, inferior creatures. Humans are there to serve you! It won't do if the downstairs folk start getting upstairs ideas. Throw the book at 'em, I say.

    Litigiously,
    Puss-Puss.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey, are you sleeping George? Why is Celia signing your answer? And why did she post the comments to your short letter complaining about her last night on today Vegas' letter?
    You really have to watch her!
    Love
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org