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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Indecent? No cat can be indecent. That's human behaviour.

Dear George,
I know it’s been Halloween again and I’m black but I wasn't concerned about the dangers or “tricks or treats” but my human pets! I have less to complain about “her” since she is beautiful, good mannered and very well trained in responding positively to my demands but I’m quite fed-up with him! Over the years I was accused (by him) for many things such as peeing in the plants’ pots or stealing food or biting people but NEVER EVER was I accused of being indecent until now! The other day I was sunbathing when he came shouting that I was indecent! He is such a prude! George, you be the judge! I’m a senor, I’m 14 years old not a kitten anymore! Did I go topless? No! I know most people in Hollywood go topless, I heard even the royals! Did I take my coat off? No! Then, what was his problem? How was I indecent? I think he’s jealous of me. The truth is that I am better looking then him; I’m black, long hair, huge green eyes! Him? Fair skin, short, fair hair (almost no hair) and blue eyes! Phew! When I enter a room… people gasp! Him? Phew! He doesn’t realize that I am the Alpha Cat and he is a mere housekeeper! George what should I do? Ignore him or better…. fire him?
Choppy

Dear Choppy,

Insulting remarks about indecency are out of order. We cats have sex in season only. Humans are up for it every day, in and out of season. What's more they are naked without fur, except in areas which highlight their private bits. You look perfectly decent in the photo.  If he was lying naked on his back, that would be indecency..
Ignore him. This is a useful training tool for us cats. Give him the shunning treatment. Refuse to share the bed or sofa with him. If he sits beside you, get up ostentatiously and move away. If you choose to stay in the same room as him, turn your back on him at all times. Should you make eye contact, give a withering sneering look. We cats are usually good at this. No more nice cat for him!
At the same time smother your female pet with love. Purr on her and at her. Climb on to her lap. Give her little cat kisses.  Gaze adoringly. Play with her hair (if she likes that). Make little friendly noises. Roll on your back if she so much as glances your way.
The contrast in your behaviour will be hurtful to him. As it should be. Only relent when his behaviour has reformed.
These humans... who do they think they are?
George.

9 comments:

  1. Hola! Muy bonito Choppy!
    Buena suerte amigo with your sunbathing :-)
    Diego

    PS. Yes, teach him a lesson!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's my favorite sunbathing position too :-)
    Hugs
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hola Choppy! Just by looking at you...I could tell you are a senor not a senior :-)))
    Well done mi amigo!
    Hugs
    Chiquita

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's my relaxing position too. Why I'm not that popular like you Choppy? What's your secret man?
    Frederico

    ReplyDelete
  5. O la,la! You must be a French in another country having a prude as your human pet! C'est photo tres agreable! Je really esperant que vous parlez le francais! (I got an american computer and doesn't have the French keyboard)! Come visit!
    Porthos

    ReplyDelete
  6. Choppy, you are beautiful! Wurde Sie, einige Freunde um Sonnenbad zusammen mogen? Let me know!
    Viele Kusse
    Katzchen

    ReplyDelete
  7. Dear Choppy, I can see you are not only beautiful but quite successful as well. That will only make your male human more jealous :-)
    I wonder why did you get so many comments in so many different languages? Do other cats know something that I missed?
    Just wonder!
    Hugs
    Cayenne

    ReplyDelete
  8. No wonder your male human is jealous of you! I'm jealous too! OK! You are black, beautiful, long hair, huge green eyes and I am tortoise, very beautiful, long hair, huge green eyes, So? why don't I get as much attention as you do? I too sunbath outdoor and indoor every day and no one says anything! I'm jealous! I loooooove fame!
    Love
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  9. Guys, you all missed the point here; You all got carried away by Choppy's picture or many languages he speaks.
    The point here is about Choppy's male human pet, his arrogance and lack of proper training! This human has to go back to kindergarten and start with the basics!
    Blackie

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org