Dear George,
With the current economy being so slow both Cayenne and I decided to help our humans increase their household income!
So we thought of different sources of revenue such as "modelling", "knitting", "hunting", "lulla-purrs for kittens'' CD, 'yoga for cats"video - something we'd enjoy and yet making money. We had quite a few good ideas but none was as tempting as a commerical for panetone. Panetone is a sweet Italian bread that you cat eat "as is" or with coffee, milk, etc. Some humans will have it with cappucino; some with red wine! Anyway we created our own little scenario, music, decor, etc.
I was soooooo excited, but.... Cayenne ruined it all!
The day we were supposed to do the comercial, I realized that my sister Cayenne gained too much weight (probably snacking on panetone), so we won't fit in the box together as we were supposed to. The whole thing was a fiasco!
Look at me in the box, so lonely and sad! What kind of ad is this?
Who would want to eat panetone now? And the worst thing is that Cayenne is laughing! But if she doesn't lose weight fast.... she is going to ruin by career (our mooomy won't let me go alone to Hollywood)! Please help!
Love Fluffy.
Dear Fluffy,
You look beautiful. Any advertisement with a cat in it is a good advertisement. Human beings are programmed to notice animals more than anything else. Evolutionary psychologists (dedicated to trying to find out how human brains are programmed by evolution) have experimented with showing flash pictures of animals, buildings and cars. Even though these humans are fixated by cars and houses (in the UK, at least), they notice animals the most. This seems to be left over from the days when humans were as clever as animals, and spent time trying to avoid being eaten and trying to find animals to eat. In those days they were like intelligent cats.
Since then they have become like naked babies (neotony is the name for that). They have lost their conscious abilities to think as sensibly as we do. So don't worry about it, Fluffy. You look wonderful in that box. The humans will notice you maybe even if they don't know they are. The only problem might be that they forget to read the name on the box because you are so much much more attractive than panetone.
Are you sure that Cayenne WANTS to lose weight? And are you sure you WANT to go to Hollywood? Apart from The Cat From Outer Space (a Burmese) there aren't great career prospects - though maybe readers can add some more cat movies.
I think we all ought to be on YouTube.
Love George
Dear Fluffy,
ReplyDeleteI think I see the problem here. Cayenne isn't too fat; the box of Panetone is too SMALL. If it were a box of an appropriate size, weight would never be an issue. We cats are so much more sophisticated in our view of self than humans, who are so uptight all the time about their weight. It's ridiculous. My human, it seems, is never happy until she squeezes into a pair of trousers a size down--and then she wants a size down from THAT. Ridiculous, I say. We cats are perfectly content to take up exactly as much space as we need, and then some if we can manage it. What she ought to pay attention to is (besides me, of course)her hygiene and napping habits. She simply will not sit on the table after a meal and have a good wash. Nor does she nap. This is just wrong. I don't see how she can function without several naps a day, and I have tried grooming her myself, but she made me stop.
Speaking of movies, there's a new one coming out soon. It's called Fix. I think it must be some sort of horror movie aimed at cats about, well, you know. I don't think I want to watch it!
Sincerely,
Puss-Puss.
Since I'm a spoiled rotten cat and the KING of Tidewater, I just don't worry about working. My humans don't work any longer, you see they are old and retired, so I've decided to retire as well. Do Kings retire or do they have to just give up their throne. I'll never give up MY throne. I could be a model because I'm very handsome.
ReplyDeletePuss-Puss...you ARE my friend!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you; I'm not fat...just well built :-) And the Panetone box was too small!
But Fluffy wants to be the center of attention; the "diva" of the day and thinks that getting to Hollywood will help her with that!
I rather hunt in the backyard or read few books!
Hugs
Cayenne
Oscar, please don't retire yet! Stay active, do things you enjoy (like Fluffy & Cayenne do - these girls know how to have fun)That will keep your mind and claws sharp!
ReplyDeleteJust let your humans retire - this way they are easier to train :-)
Minnie
Who can resist to a bit of panetone and wine?
ReplyDeleteNot me :-)
Hasta la vista my friends
Diego
Fluffy, stay home and enjoy the pampered life you live! I just spoke with "the Bragelina of cats" and they do not need any new kitten in Hollywood nor are they ready to adopt another one!
ReplyDeleteBetter enjoy a little panetone and a glass of wine (even if your pants will be too tight next day) :-)
Sebastian
Fluffy, that's nothing wrong with you wanting to go to Hollywood! A career there can be real fun!
ReplyDeleteLot of cats are actually afraid of a public life but secretly desire to be famous!
Too bad that the last good movie I've seen was That Darn Cat (and I'm talking about the first movie not the remake)! And....what's wrong having a slice of panetone and a glass of red wine in Hollywood? Just make sure you'll warm up a bit the panetone and the wine should be at room temperature (not too dry but not too sweet either):-)! Dream away pretty girl!
Sir Winston
Good advice Sir Winston! Now all she does is listening to Roy Orbison's California Blues and daydreaming! Thanks a lot pal
ReplyDeleteCayenne
I think I'd like to be in some commercials; it can be fun!
ReplyDeleteNot really in Hollywood (I love my new home too much to leave it) but something local...."just for fun"!:-)
Shumba