Why human brains move in the past and present.

 As we cats all know, humans have extraordinary and rather wonky dysfunctional brains. They keep thinking about things that might happen but never do. 

Their brains move forwards and backwards in time, instead of staying in the present. They therefore worry about the future (which probably doesn't happen) or they become anxious and unhappy about the past (which is over and done with.)

They also create in their minds curious and unlikely fantasies. My human is currently becoming obsessed about the death of a former cat, Mr Spangles. Not only does she miss him and want to cry, but she feels she has to do something about his death.

She spent a lot of money getting his body cremated. Now she is wondering if she should scatter his ashes in her small town garden. Or should she bury them and put up tombstone somewhere in the garden?

Then she worries about what will happen if she has to sell her house. Will new humans living there respect his tomb? Will they pave over the grass that hides his ashes?

Currently she has put the ashes in a cupboard with the ashesof her previous cats, and also (this will make fellow cats laugh) with the ashes of her husband Ronnie. They sit there but will her relatives know they are there?

She wants to be buried in a country churchyard with all those ashes even though some of Ronnie's ashes are missing, as she scattered a handful up and down Fleet St.

Can you imagine how much brainpower is being wasted on these thoughts. And these pointless thoughts make her unhappy. If she was a cat, she would just go out and catch a nice mouse for her dinner instead of having these ridiculous ruminations.

But that is the human brain... They really are a very weird species.

 

Ouch. My teeth hurt...

 With age comes pain... not just the arthritis that I am beginning to feel, but tooth pain. Toothache makes me grouchy and stops me enjoying my food. 

Sometimes when I go to my bowl to eat, I remember how it hurt last time. I move towards the bowl, eat a little then retreat because of the pain in my gums.

Do humans notice this? No, with their dumb blindness they usually don't. They may think we are being fussy about food, when it just HURTS...

I hate all vets but I admit that my vet does know about tooth pain. She checks inside my mouth when I come for my annual vaccination and check up. 

Now I have got to have dental work. I dread it. And for once my human would understand, because she dreads going to the dentist too.

Should we all get our humans to clean our teeth? I think not. Too invasive, for me. I'm not having some dumb human push a toothbrush into my mouth.

But getting an annual check up is worthwhile. Fellow cats, make sure your vet looks inside your mouth regularly.

Why we needed Maneki-neko

    I discovered this odd little plastic item the other day when I was checking the kitchen floor for interesting crumbs of food. It had fallen from the Welsh dresser - and it was moving.

The moving plastic part was intriguing but it smelled of nothing in particular. And it didn't look interesting in shape.

Then I discovered it was meant to be a Maneki-neko - a beckoning cat that is meant to bring prosperity to small businesses. 

 

Luck is much needed in the household at the moment because my human has writer's block and I have not been feeling well. I think I ate something from out of the garden that did not agree with me.

I felt so bad last night that instead of sleeping on top of my human, I hid away under a bedroom chair. She woke up at 3am and decided I was lost. 

Panicking - like humans do - she wandered round the house and into the garden calling me and rattling the food bowl. As I was feeling sick, I did not respond. 

This morning she took me to the vet who said there was nothing "clinically" wrong. Purrhaps the Maneki-neko luck will make me feel better. 

It might also stops her writer's block. She needs all the pennies she can earn for the vet's bills.

How long will I live?

Number crunching humans have come up with an answer to the question: "How long will I live?"

Well, the answer is it depends.... trust humans to make things complicated! Average lifespan for a house cat is just under twelve years. If you are a female cat, you will live a little longer than a male cat.

Being a neutered helps you reach that age. Being an ordinary moggy also helps. Most pedigree cats have a  much shorter livespan with Sphynx cats living only about seven years. That's probably because they are so inbred.

Birmans live longer

Birmans and Burmese pedigrees are the exception. They live longer than ordinary moggies.The exact lifespan table can be found here.

So let us ordinary moggies celebrate.... we last longer!

Cats are King.... the message.

 

In the fight for better conditions we cats need to catch humans young, when they are just kittens. Although babies can be unpleasantly damp and toddlers not much better, from the age of five onwards they become more sensible.

This is the  moment to influence those dumb human minds for the good of the feline world. Humans who grow up with cats in the house will be available as carers later in life.

Tom, the original and (he claims) true author of the book, has written this book under his human's pseudonym. I sympathise with his need to have a human "author."

This is Tom

The story shows how a cat behaves in the household - and how humans just have to put up with it! Good propaganda for the little ones.

It's also important for human kittens to get a sense of their place in the human household. Obviously top of the pecking order is CAT, then adult human, then young human and - right at the bottom if they exist in the family - dog.

Congratulations, Tom. Keep up the good work.