Dear Readers,
Now is the time for empty boxes, wrapping paper, tinsel, trees to climb, baubles to play with, bits of turkey, with catnip overdose and general silliness from our humans....
It's warm inside, even if there are strange humans, crying human kittens, and toddlers trying to pull our tail in the house. My Christmas plan is to sit unobserved in the kitchen so that the humans to forget I am there. With luck, they may leave the turkey unattended either before or after cooking. Even without that good fortune, there will be crumbs, pieces of turkey skin, spilled cream and heaven knows what else on the kitchen floor.
I shall stay quiet while they eat and (if they go for a walk or sit and gawp at the TV) I will be free to explore the possibilities of the kitchen - empty plates with plenty of gravy on them, cream sauce left over from the pudding, turkey carcases, stray sausages and fragments of bacon.....
Then upstairs to the bedroom for a long, long sleep. Purrrrrrrrrr. My idea of a good day.
Yours George.
PS. Forgot the important bit. Spare a thought for homeless and unwanted cats this time of year outside in the cold. Tell your humans to give them a home or put out food for them. Sunshine Cat Rescue could do with a Christmas pound. The donation button is on the right hand side under the News section. Tommy, right, who needs a home, says even a tiny amount will help.
He tells me that in the feline world it is well known that the Bethlehem stable there was a cat. Somehow it was left out of the narrative.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Saturday, December 17, 2016
What makes a cat a thief? Stealing or just sharing?
Dear George,
Tell me one thing: why is it OK for a squirrel
to jump on the table on my patio and steal my food and things (as you can see
in the photo attached) but isn’t OK for me to jump on the kitchen table to
check (and share) my humans’ dinner?
Why my humans will find the squirrel amusing and
quite entertaining to watch but would get upset with me being on the dinner
table? Why would they call me a thief?
I’m not stealing anything….I’m only sharing
dinner with them.
Actually, what make a cat to be a thief?
In the spirit of sharing
CAT Victoria
Dear Victoria,
Sharing your human's dinner? Finding an extra snack on the kitchen counter? Investigating a half open kitchen cupboard? This is not theft. It is natural behaviour in our own home.
Humans have ridiculous ideas about ownership which they expect us to share. Feline morality is very different. It's finders keepers; what we find is ours. Yes, we do bring food for our kittens and sometimes we even bring a mouse as a present to our humans. But, on the whole, what ours is ours, and what is theirs' is also ours. "Thine's mine and mine's my own," as the famous Yorkshire cat proverb puts it.
My friend, Tommy, is becoming an excellent forager. Here is a photo of him investigating a kitchen cupboard! He has volunteered to do my Christmas message next week.
Happy Christmas, Victoria CAT. And thank you for your letters during the year.
George.
Friday, December 09, 2016
A Christmas gift for all cats
Dear George,
The other night I was watching this video
with this kitty whacking her human’s fingers.
Immediately I realized the potential of getting
rich quickly by intelligently marketing this game as well as mass producing
these cardboard boxes ready to use (something like “pret-a-porter” in fashion
world). I really like this cat game: it is entertaining for us and educational
for humans – our human pets will perfect their skills and we, the cats, enjoy
the interaction with them! I shall call this “spending quality time” with your
human.
So, late at night I was sitting on my
favorite counter and contemplating my sketch (both my photo and my sketch
attached) planning the business venture, suppliers, insurance (what if a kitty
literary “kills” her human’s finger – the game is meant only to whack not
kill), shipping….you know…all that boring stuff coming with any successful
business.
And, on second thoughts, I decided to post
the sketch and the game on your blog free!
Any human can reproduce my sketch and make some
holes in a cardboard box and have fun with his/her kitty.
Merry Christmas to all
Diego
Dear Diego,
Thank you for sharing this. Yes, it's a good game but only for adult cats. We can control ourselves and not injure our humans too badly. Personally I prefer fishing rod games, as humans can play them with us while watching TV. But this finger game is fun too particularly for cats that live indoors.
It's not for kittens. Kittens enjoy it but it can make them too scratchy to humans. Let me tell you the cautionary tale of Tommy (still waiting for a home). His humans played fingers games with him as a kitten, then when he got a bit bigger they punished him for biting their fingers. And so he bit harder. And they punished harder..... So they then threw him out of the house for being "vicious." It wasn't his fault - he was just playing.
He had to go into rehab with Celia and learn to be gentle.
He had to go into rehab with Celia and learn to be gentle.
I love the way your fur colour matches the kitchen.
Yours
George
Friday, December 02, 2016
At war with my mother... like many humans.
I decided to write my memoir (as you can
see in the picture) and I need your help since you are so much more experienced
in writing books than any other cat!
It is true I’m only three but I think I’ll
write my memoir in “stages”: Part I – kittenhood; Part II – tomcathood; Part
III – wisdom at sunset! The kittenhood chapter is difficult because of the
memory I have of how I was given away by my own biological mother! Yes! I
remember that! You see, my mother was pregnant when she was rescued. She had a
litter of four (two girls and two boys) in these humans’ house. Then, when we
were about eight weeks old she gave me and my brother, Bubble, away to some of
their close relatives.But, life is strange and due to unexpected events we’ve got back with our biological family. George, now that I’m back in the house where I was born I can’t help fighting with my Mama because I am so mad at her! She is scared and doesn’t understand why I’m so aggressive but how could she discriminate between the boys and the girls? Why did she keep the girls and gave away the boys? I see red only thinking of it!
My brother is begging me to calm down! He’s trying to convince me that it wasn’t our mama who gave us up! He says she didn’t have a chance and that it was the human mama who gave us up! Could this be true? And, if it is, how do I punish my humans? Bite? Scratch? Piss on them? What?
George, tell me the truth and teach my how to punish my humans (we’ll talk later about tips on writing, editing and publishing). Punishing my humans is of paramount importance right now!
In boxing mood
Ricky
Dear Ricky,
Even though plenty of humans are mad at their mothers and would hate to live with them as adults, they still expect us cats to do this. You had grown up, become independent, and now suddenly you are plonked back in the family without your consent. It is not fair to assume you will get on with your mother. Very few adult humans live with theirs!
Can you rehome yourself? If you have a cat flap, you can just start looking for a new home down the street. Turn up, sit outside, meow pathetically. It usually works.
If you do not have a cat flap, I suggest you get your human's attention by spraying urine, a form of territory marking which highlights your discontent and stress. If they call in a cat behaviour counsellor (as they should) this "expert" will suggest either rehoming or extensive modifications to the home to keep you and your mother apart.
Yours
George.
PS. All this would make a good misery memoir in the style of Angela's Ashes or A Boy Called It. Get writing.
Dear Ricky,
Even though plenty of humans are mad at their mothers and would hate to live with them as adults, they still expect us cats to do this. You had grown up, become independent, and now suddenly you are plonked back in the family without your consent. It is not fair to assume you will get on with your mother. Very few adult humans live with theirs!
Can you rehome yourself? If you have a cat flap, you can just start looking for a new home down the street. Turn up, sit outside, meow pathetically. It usually works.
If you do not have a cat flap, I suggest you get your human's attention by spraying urine, a form of territory marking which highlights your discontent and stress. If they call in a cat behaviour counsellor (as they should) this "expert" will suggest either rehoming or extensive modifications to the home to keep you and your mother apart.
Yours
George.
PS. All this would make a good misery memoir in the style of Angela's Ashes or A Boy Called It. Get writing.
Labels:
adoption,
emotional trauma,
human stupidity,
hypocrisy,
moving house
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Mini Me - I have found my new home all by myself.
Dear George,
I literally woke up the other day in front
of a gate! I don’t know how I got there!
All I recall is that I was sleeping in my human kitten’s room the night before.
All I recall is that I was sleeping in my human kitten’s room the night before.
Why was I left all alone in front of this
gate I had no idea! Have I been dumped by my humans? It looked like it! But
why? Well, I puffed up my chest and pushed the gate open! Wow! To my complete
surprise I’ve met (behind that gate) “my maxi size me” (as you can see in the
photo attached). Well, this “Maxi size me” was confused too as he was staring
at me like I was his “mini size him”. At this peak of confusion his humans
appeared and after few laughs they absolutely adopted me on spot! I felt
immediately welcomed into their lives! I soon learned that there are two other cats
and a dog living in the house. Everybody is very nice to me so far! But now…what?
What should I do?
What should I expect? And how do I secure
my place in their hearts so I won’t be dumped again?
ME (just “Mini Me”….I don’t have a name
yet)
Dear Mini Me,
Congratulations on a successful pet human adoption. You have chosen your new family all by yourself, as many cats do. You need do no more for the time being - just settle in and relax. Enjoy the food and the warmth - it's cold out there without a house to live in.
Once you feel at ease, it is important to start training your humans and, of course, the dogs. Successful training (of dogs that are used to cats) means standing up for yourself, never retreating, and being ready to give a sharp scratch on the nose if a dog is being difficult. It is essential that the household cats are at the top of the family hierarchy.
Next training the humans. First, work out what you want - do you want to sleep in a lap? is there room on the bed you share with humans or would you prefer the warmth from sharing with one of the dogs? Can you keep your food bowl to yourself without dogs or larger cats interfering? Are there enough litter trays (one for each cat and perhaps one extra)?
When you get what you want, purr as loud as you can. If that doesn't work, then do something cute. Laughter is always a good human response to cats. So, if your humans have done something you like, reward them with cute behaviour to make them laugh.
They won't even realise they are being trained. That's the beauty of training humans. They have no idea that we are doing it. Dumb animals indeed!!
Yours
George
They won't even realise they are being trained. That's the beauty of training humans. They have no idea that we are doing it. Dumb animals indeed!!
Yours
George
Labels:
adoption,
black,
dogs,
litter tray,
training human
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Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.
This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org