I am the thousandth cat..... celebrating a happy ending.

Dear George,
This is the family I have adopted as my pets. I chose a family with a couple of human kittens - just to have some fun with them. I'm that sort of cat: ready to play at any time.
Why am I the thousandth cat? Well, Cats Protection Fareham and Waterloo district branch has rescued 200 unwanted or homeless cats every year since they started up, and I am number 1000. 
I had made a bad first choice of humans. When I got flea allergy they just chucked me out and I spent a long time wandering around looking for a suitable home. It wasn't easy. But by the time I found Fareham Cats Protection, they helped me adopt the right people.
So thank you, all the 30 or so people who volunteered, raised money, and helped us Fareham cats find suitable human pets. And if any cats reading this want their humans to make a small donation to celebrate my new home, they can go to the donation page at www.fareham.cats.org.uk 
Now I must get back to training those human kittens of mine.... they need my help.
Yours thankfully
Erica.

Dear Erica,
I was a Cats Protection kitten, brought up and hand fed by Lou (now of Sunshine Cat Rescue), before I adopted Celia. So it is great to hear of the good work some humans do. Like you I am black and beautiful, with green eyes and a talent for making humans do what I want.
In a world where cats are so often mistreated or abused, it is great to celebrate a happy ending for a change.
Yours
George.

Cat-ha Yoga.....

Dear George, 

I need your help to set the record straight! Humans are claiming the fame for inventing yoga thousands of years ago which is absolutely not true! What it’s true thou is that, indeed, some thousands of years ago were some wise men (sages) observing us in utter admiration and, then they started copying our moves and poses! They quickly realized the benefit of breathing and stretching and they called this art Hatha Yoga (a mere typo as in truth it was Cat-ha Yoga).

We know humans are as flexible as dogs and that means ZERO flexibility (easily to observe in downward dog pose)! But us? Whoa! Just look at my twist in the photo attached! Can you see my perfect pose? Ah! That’s exactly what I mean! Do you see any human performing a twist to perfection? No! I tried to teach my human family but only one of my human kittens succeeded. She is very young and beautiful and very talented; she makes beautiful music and sings for me! I love her very much; like my own blood and flesh! She is so good now that I allowed her to teach other humans. 

But, George, how do we take back the credit as founders of yoga?

Namaste

Beau

Dear Beau,
Humans really are maddening. Of course yoga was invented by cats. Indeed, we are still adding to the yoga poses. An acquaintance of yours, Lenny, developed a new asana called “Cat Slipping” as you can see in the photo on the blog for for May 22 last year. And we have been doing zen meditation and other forms of oriental spiritual practices from the times before we even thought of domesticating humans. 
How do we get humans to admit this? I don't think we can. They are just dumb an animals, desperately trying to aspire to our level of spiritual intelligence. 
But why not purrsuade your young human to start a cat and human class. I can recommend sharing Yoga sessions with humans: it is immensely amusing seeing them trying to do a cat stretch. Take a look at this session here. The sheer clumsiness of the humans has to be seen to be believed. What is rather nice is that the whole session was also in aid of cats adopting rescue humans. 
Namaste
George

The smarter the whiskers, the smarter the cat.....

Dear George,

I read an article about whiskers and IQ; the article stated that more whiskers we have higher the IQ. I wonder if it’s true! Because if it is true I must be the most intelligent in our house. Not only my whiskers outnumber everybody else whiskers but mine are slightly curly too! Does this give an extra kick to my grey matter?

Can you expand on this idea George? It is very important for me as I’m trying to protect my Alpha Cat status in a household with four cats.
In whiskers I trust

Bentley

Dear Bentley,  
Whiskers rule! I agree with you - the smarter the whisker, the smarter the cat. It's a question of style.
It's not just the size or length - the longer the whisker the wider the cat, because whiskers allow us to put our head through a space and measure it. If the whiskers get through, the whole cat gets through. 
It's also the way they move. We can't see our prey if we are too close to it but the whiskers "see" it for us. They sweep forward and touch the prey so that we know where to put our claws to grab it. You can see that in slow motion here. It is so fast that humans cannot see it unless they slow down the film. 
We've also got whiskers above our eyes and on our legs (look at the photo on the right) - again to help us sense prey or the environment.

We are super-tactile. Poor humans their whiskers are more like fur, and what is more they usually shave them off. I suppose they are ashamed of them. What a strange species.
Yours
George

Are sprouting beans good for cats? I am not a rabbit.

Dear George,
I seriously wonder if my mummy knows the difference between a cat and a cow (yes, I know…both start with a “C”) or rather said between an herbivore and a carnivore!
I am saying this because for the last three weeks she is trying really hard to grow something for me, something that she calls “sprouts” (photo attached). I mean take a look at the photo and tell me how on earth does she think I’m going to it that ugly, unappealing stuff? She’s telling me that it’s winter and I don’t have any grass to chew on if I’d like to. But, for God’s sake then just grow some grass for me.
George, can you post a list of “greens” good for cats? PLEASE!

Yours truly and always,
CAT Victoria

Long digestive tract with huge caecum

Dear Cat Victoria,
I can't post a list of greens that are good for cats. But there is a list of human food which is poisonous to cats here. Grapes, raisins and onions (even in gravy) are on this list. The more you eat of these dangerous foods, the more poisonous they are. 
A little vegetable is probably good for cats, but not too much. We humans, and dogs,  are omnivores, and are designed to eat both meat and also vegetables. Cats are not.
Cats are "obligate" carnivores, meaning that their intestines are designed for meat - the whole carcase, skin and bones, not just flesh. You can see this in the illustrations here which show a a rabbit's intestines (an animal that is designed to eat nothing but vegetation) above with a cat's digestive system below. The rabbit (above) has a long intestine with a huge wavy pouch called a caecum which breaks down the cellulose in vegetables, while the cat has a short intestine with a small caecum which you cannot even see in this illustration. 
Here in the UK, you can buy special grass for cats. I think you would enjoy that better than sprouting beans. I know I would.
Yours
George

Internet down – Panic attack! Humans suffer cat withdrawal symptoms.

Dear George,
I almost had a panic attack tonight! I tried to connect to your blog to see what’s new and exciting and I realized that even if my computer wasn’t sick ….I still could not connect to you. My mommy explained to me that the Internet was down! I didn’t really understand what that means nor did I really care but, she told me that there are computers’ doctors called “nerds” and she’ll call one to the rescue. George, I know from your letters that Celia has a lot of trouble with her computer which is always sick and in the hospital. But, if my computer is healthy why the Internet will be down? What is the Internet? 
Mommy is trying to convince me that internet is like living a virtual life and that my real life is “here and now” with them, down on earth and in the kitchen. But, I don’t agree!
When my humans are coming home late and my brother Beau is hunting far away from home if I don’t have the internet I feel lonely, abandoned and disconnected. My real life is in the cyberspace, of course within the feline community. My humans tell me I’m addicted! Addicted to what? George, what is a good “escape plan” in case of Internet failure? I need a survival kit! Please advise. 
Yours…..definitely futuristic
Paco 

Dear Paco, 
You may have panicked, Paco, but that is nothing compared with human panic. I have seen Celia, with head on hands shoulders heaving or in a fury swearing at the computer. And once I saw Ronnie actually punch the computer. When humans lose it, they lose it.
The internet is quite simply a device to spread cat pictures, videos and information across the world. Cat blogs, cat jokes, cat photos and cat videos take up most of the space, even putting porn into second place! (And with extraordinary sexual carrying ons of humans, that really is saying something.) 
Cats rule in cyberspace. The Google Artificial Mind, 16,000 computer processors in a neural network, constructed a ghostly abstract model of a cat as its first project in artificial thinking. What else would it do? 

The Google Artificial Mind

Cats addicted? No, as much as humans. We do blog a lot - see the cat blogosphere here - of course.We have more or less taken over Cheezburger photos here and Youtube here. Do you know why? We are doing it to HELP humans. Watching cat videos actually contributes to their emotional health? Yes, really. Read the science paper in my postscript if you don't believe me. 
When the internet is down humans suffer from cat withdrawal symptoms, a serious human disorder. So no wonder you panicked - your concern was for your human. 
Yours George.

 PS. Myrick, J. G., (2015), 'Emotion regulation, procrastination, and watching cat videos online: Who watches Internet cats, why, and to what effect?' Computers in Human Behaviour, 52, 168-167.