Behind every successful author is a hard working cat

 

I have been a feline ghost writer for many years. My human, Celia, has published several books about cats. With her name, not mine, on them. My contributions have been essential but they have also been entirely glossed over.

I have toiled for months to help her understand cats. I have meowed. I have purred. I have scratched. I have nipped. All in the effort to get that dumb human to engage her brain in a proper feline way. 

Only one of "my" books has given me due credit. 

Even then, she insisted on having her name attached as well. A pathetic desire to get in on the act. Poor woman is so needy that she could not help herself!

Most cats would not have put up with this. Most cats would have refused to co-operate further. Many cats would simply have left home in search of a less selfish human.

I stayed. Why?

I stayed in the hope that eventually, with months of training, with endless patience on my part, that she would purrhaps fully UNDERSTAND CATS. 

She still doesn't. 

 

• If you want to buy iit, go to UK Amazon or US Amazon  It would make me purr with pleasure -- though your human might not like it.

Cats go walkies? Purrsonally, never.

Purrsonally, I have never allowed my human to put me on a leash and go walkies. It is demeaning, as well as unpleasant, to be treated like a dog.

We are not dogs. Most of us do not do walkies. 

Some cats - very few - feel OK about it. So they may be taken to the park or perhaps even down a street on a lead.

But is it safe? Will dogs in the street attack us? They might well. Will the human then be able to scoop us up and protect us? 

Do you trust your human to be sensible. Purrsonally I consider trusting humans to be a mistake. They are too stupid to be trusted.

But if your human insists, or if you would like to try it, get a proper training course - https://kittycatgo.com/cat-harness-leash-training-course/ 

• Also, remember that Christmas is coming up. My best selling book, A Cat's Guide to Humans, is available now here

  

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Look at the ears...

Maltese cat outside an archeological site - ear tip on left ear just visible.

With the help of my human I have been researching unowned cats in Malta. There are not many.

During a 6 day investigation, my human observed only 8 cats. Of these 7 appeared to be unowned - no sign of collar etc. And all 7 had tiny notches in their ears.

This was a sign that they had been trapped, neutered and spayed then returned to the site they belonged to. In 5 cases there were signs of feeding bowls and shelter suggesting a managed colony.

 It is called TNR - Trap, Neuter and Return. Malta are doing it wonderfully. 

Human blah-blah-blah

Celia and Mr Spangles watching a zoom meeting

Have you noticed how often humans talk to us? They seem to assume we understand human talk.

Which we don't.

But human talk does interest us. Their blah-blah-blah comes in different tones of voice. We certainly recognise an angry tone of voice from a loving tone of voice.

We also recognise various words. Like our names. When I hear the word, "George" I know it means something special is coming up ... like food, or strokes, or just attention. 

I love being the centre of my human's attention. Mostly attention means eye gaze in my direction: a laugh: a slow blink: and perhaps more blah-blah-blah in a baby sounding voice.

What about the "vet" word. Well, I recognise it but not all cats do. I make myself scarce. Under the bed is the best place because she can't get me out!