Watch my tongue - what am I saying?

The tongue flick showing anxiety

 Humans don't know how to read cat language. We have to remember that they are dumb animals with no proper feline language - only an assorted number of meaningless vocalisations.

So watch my tongue, humans. It will give you a message to tell you how I am feeling.

If I flick my tongue upwards towards my nose, that signals that I am feeling slightly anxious. You can see it in a video that Celia has posted on her Youtube channel here. 

Toby is enjoying being petted but it is slightly too rough for him. So he gets slightly anxious. He flicks his tongue then he turns his head away to show he has had enough for the time being.

If your human wants to learn cat language, get her/him to watch the video.

Lessons for humans 6. Don't put up with groping.

 

                                        Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JiIDD6O_9k
 

We cats are quite clear about body privacy. We know where we DON'T want to be touched. Backside, belly, tail end of back - these are often our private areas.

We also are clear when we want humans to stop touching.

So when some insensitive human gropes us, we nip, bite or scratch. We make it quite clear - Take your hands off me. 

Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P5KysZq0FE

Humans could learn from us. Send a clear message if you don't want to be groped.

You can't bite most of the time. Your face is wrongly designed. You can't  scratch because you have pathetic nails not proper claws.

But you can shout, hit or slap. Humans, it is the twenty first century. You don't have to put up with groping. 

• For a video of lessons from cats go to Celia's Youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBIJyISl3rA&t=55s

Lessons for humans 5. Check the toilet bowl

Tommy inspects his urination. Full video -

https://youtu.be/ujWARbL9tws

 One of the weirdest things about humans is how they toilet. They sit on a ceramic seat, do their business and then pull a lever which flushes water down the same ceramic.

Odd. Very odd, indeed. I have spent time looking into the human toilet and I still don't understand....

There is something they often forget to do... to take a good look at their eliminations before washing them away.

We cats always do this, unless we are interrupted or when the litter tray is covered in a way which makes it too difficult to turn round.

Tommy inspects the human toilet

Yet if humans did this every single time, they would learn more about their state of health. Did dark urine show that they needed to drink more water? Was there blood in their stools? 

So, humans, take a lesson from cats. Take a good look in that ceramic bowl before flushing....

Lessons for Humans 4. Learn balance

 

You can see this on video here _ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOkx5Ae5_1w 

Humans are clumsy animals with serious disabilities. As a result of having only two legs (bad) instead of four (good), their ability to balance is poor. 

So poor that some of the older humans try to add a  third leg by using a stick. It's pathetic to see them staggering along. Others go further and add four legs to their existing two by using a walking frame. That's verging on the weird.

In contrast we cats have excellent balance. It's not just that we have four legs. We are also superior in that we have a tail - a flexible tail that can wave from side to side and upwards and downwards. 

A dog has a tail but while it contributes to balance, it cannot help really difficult balancing actions. It is too stiff.

What can humans learn from us? Despite having no tail and only two legs, they can at least make an effort to improve their poor balance by occasionally using only one leg.

I suggest that all humans should spend five minutes standing on one leg, then on the other.  (Think flamingo!). If they do this conscientiously their balance will improve a little.

Of course, they will never achieve the graceful balance of us cats!

Lessons for Humans 3. Speak Your Gratitude.

Hear the purr at Celia's Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMH0Q-3hEcw

 

We show our pleasure and gratitude by purring or by snuggling up close. Or both. We do this when humans do something we like.

Gratitude works.... If we purr at them when we are eating specially nice food, they are more likely to give it to us again.  

So humans could learn from us. Humans are verbal beings. The poor things can't purr. But they can make a wide variety of vocalisations, which they call speech.

So humans, speak your gratitude. Remember to say thank you when other people do something you like.

And say a big thank you - with smiles and hugs where appropriate - when another human does you a favour.

Remember, gratitude spoken aloud often brings more favours! We cats don't purr for nothing!