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Saturday, January 26, 2019

Of cats and arts.

Dear George,
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that we are born naturally gifted, much more so than humans. It takes a century for humans to produce a genius! It takes us about 67 days at most to produce one in a litter. That should tell humans something, right?
I know you are a gifted writer and other cats are gifted hunters, acrobats or athletes.
I’m exceptionally gifted as a painter. I took up painting but my human (just like yours, George) is not only sabotaging me …she’s stealing my art too! Huh!
I must admit I have much fun dipping my paws in paint and then work the canvas!
What does she do? She waits until I’m asleep and recreates some portraits or still nature painted by me and signs the painting with her own name. I tried few times to cover her signature with my unique “paw-signature” but she must have a method to erase mine. Totally unfair. You know what I’m talking about! So, George what are we going to do? Whatever you’ll suggest I’ll follow! How would you stop Celia from stealing your work and admitting that you are the author? How am I going to stop my human pretending that she’s a great artist and give me credit for her success?
Totally yours,
CAT Victoria

Dear CAT Victoria,
Humans are terrible plagiarists. I have suffered too. Because I cannot use my paws to type, I am reliant on a human typist, Celia. Not only does she try to pass off this blog as my own, she also has claimed authorship for my best selling volume, One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train its Human. I have a nephew, also called George, who is currently negotiating with an agent to publish a useful book about human management: he says he will only write it if his name is on the cover. We shall see what happens....
Could you purrsade your human to add a pawprint to her signature? Terence Cuneo, a successful painter of ceremonial occasions, always added a signature tiny mouse to his paintings. For more detail read here. In one of his painting a mouse was riding on the back of a cowboy in a stampede.
How much better would it be if she added just a pawprint. Either near her signature or somewhere semi-concealed on each painting? I know its not the same as your proper paw print without her name, but at least it's a start.
Yours 
George

6 comments:

  1. CAT VictoriaJanuary 26, 2019

    Oh! George, you made my day! An excellent idea, indeed! I'll see how I can work my "paw" into the paintings to stay there! Love it :-)
    CV

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  2. George, I came to learn from stories and letters left by my predecessors that your "not so humble secretary" (Celia) could be very sneaky at times, not living up to her duties and, yes, stealing your writings! I want to alert you to the fact that she might be up to something sneakier than ever! I've seen my mummy reading a book "100 ways to be as happy as your dog" signed by no other than Celia Haddon! Do you know about this book? Is this yours as well? Did you start liking dogs? What the meow is happening?
    Chico

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  3. I'm a good sleeper! Super gifted! MOL
    Lache

    ReplyDelete
  4. Carla, the tuxedo catJanuary 30, 2019

    I think it was George who wrote the book! He is well aware that humans are often making a mistake by bringing home a dog without asking our permission first! However, we quickly turn that dog into our "happy", obedient servant ...just like its human master! I think the message of the book is "humans stop copycat us, the cats; be as happy as your dog in serving us"!
    Carla, the tuxedo cat

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  5. Honestly, I think George should post a letter clarifying the mystery with this latest book :-)
    Puf

    ReplyDelete
  6. Whatever ...the case I'm going to buy the book! I live with a big dog named Jake!
    Is this book available everywhere or just in UK?
    Whiskers

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org