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Saturday, April 09, 2011

Difficulty educating humans

Dear George,

It has been a while since I last sent you a letter but I was busy trying to educate my human pets with, I must admit, not much success! Considering your expertise in human intelligence I need few tips to handle my daddy’s questions. Not that I cannot answer his questions, but he drives me to the edge of darkness! How many times do you think a human can ask exactly same questions? Any guess? Of course not! But, I can tell you that the symbol is that horizontal 8 (yes – Infinite). So, George, here are the questions – may be you’ll be able to answer in such a manner that he’ll understand.

The first is: “why are cats knitting?” followed by his “rationale” – I bet no one knows!

Of course we know; cats are highly intelligent, well educated and well versed in almost any topic!

The second is: “why does she (he means ….me) squeeze my hand while purring”?

Asking such question is absolutely insulting, don’t you think so?

But what drives me insane is that all this time my “mum” is giggling giving the impression that she’s somehow superior and knows! Bet she has no idea! Human arrogance! The other night he asked again, so, I looked him in the eyes and asked him: “why do cats purr, daddy”? He didn’t know! He still stares in nothingness! Can you believe it? George, do you think there is any hope with my humans? They are agreeable pets after all.

Love

Fluffy


Dear Fluffy,

I won't dignify human idiocy by giving them the answers in this blog. Education should involve the student finding out knowledge, not just being given it in spoon fed form. (Trust humans to need spoons: we have the natural spoon of the tongue.). So put your thinking caps on, you human readers, and see what you can do with these interestingly enigmatic questions.

How can you handle your human's questioning? How can you remain calm when these questions are repeated over and over again, due to the limited nature of the human intellect. The answer, Fluffy, is compassion for lower forms of life. Humans are evolutionary dead-ends, lower down the tree of life than us. Their function is doubtful (destruction of our world perhaps?), the cause of their behaviour even more doubtful (we cats haven't managed to put them into a neuroscience lab yet), their life development (ontogeny) mysterious as they seem to remain for ever childish, and how they evolved this way (phylogeny) downright weird. They are down there with the bower bird and the peacock.

Makes you wonder if the Higher Feline Power, which we cats call Cat, designed them as a sort of joke. That's the other way to handle their insistent questioning: laugh. Humans think we don't laugh but we do. Ours is an inward and rather superior chuckle.

So, if you remain compassionate, let yourself laugh silently, you will manage to keep your temper. Alternatively, sit on his head or bite his ankles. There's nothing wrong with a bit of claw and order discipline in the feline classroom.

You have beautiful eyes. Beautiful.

Looooove

George

P.S. This question was answered rather late as my secretary was busy digging a large litter tray for me (which she called a seed bed) in the garden. Must get out there and use it, otherwise she will be hurt.



10 comments:

  1. George, you can't leave Fluffy with no answers!
    It only makes you look like...."you don't either" and THAT will give our humans an ascendant!
    Just few tips/hints, please? :-)
    Hugs
    Cayenne

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  2. CAT have mercy on us!
    George....it seems to me that you were either taken away by Fluffy's beautiful eyes or by the thought of that big seed bed in the garden.
    Or....Celia has to much influence on you lately.
    Sebastian

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  3. George, did you become a Buddhist? Only a Buddhist Master will send the students to find the answers themselves!
    Minnie

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  4. Fluffy...brace yourself! Bet....you'll be all a big laugh inside. When you can't keep it silent any more (I'm talking about the laughter) visit some friends :-)
    Diego

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  5. George, last night I told our "daddy" a story that answered his questions (I hope):-)
    Here is what I told him: when CAT was Supreme and man was not created....all cats were living happy. They had no stress training the humans, no stress looking for food as it was plenty of fresh mice, birds and little creatures, no stress watching for their lives and safety from abusers and abuses....but all that ceased to exist once man was created! When we knit....that means we trust enough our humans to relax and remember of those lost happy times! When we "squeeze" your hand it's our way to say "I love you - I'm here for you" and when we purr....we try to elevate you (humans) to our vibration which is far superior to yours (mere humans). Wishing more and more cats to knit, squeeze and purr happily.
    Cayenne

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  6. Sir WinstonApril 10, 2011

    Dear Fluffy, George is absolutely right! you do have beautiful eyes and yes! you should not bother answering your human's insisting questions. If you'll give him answers...you'll see....he'll ask again because humans have a short span of attention and a rather low IQ.
    Let him think until either his brain hurts or he finds the answers himself!
    Sir Winston

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  7. George is right I think, there's no point in answering any questions apes ask of a cat other than when they ask "would you likes some food?"

    Whicky Wuudler

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  8. Well, i do not "knit": i make electricity. So, true, nobody's plugged my blanket to anything that could store the energy that i produce when kneading - well, shame for them; i'm still doing my bit to earn my keep !

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  9. We humans just love talking to our cats. I always talked to mine.

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  10. Fluffy and CayenneApril 15, 2011

    Hello KattyCat, you are right...we "knead" not "knit"! Thank you so much for pointing it out so graciously.
    Hugs
    Fluffy & Cayenne

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org