Beware despot cats.

This is my local despot cat, Alfie. I am terrified of him. He sits on my wall and glares menacingly at me. 
This is a dilemma when I do need human help. Humans can be very stupid about this problem. They don't understand that a feline stare is very intimidating. At first she thought Alfie was just being 'friendly.' A ridiculous idea.
Then other humans told her how Alfie fights all other cats, if he can get hold of them. At last she is being helpful. She hisses and shouts at him every time he appears. 
And since she has started doing that, at least he doesn't come into the garden. She also protects me by closing the cat flap at night, when he is on the prowl. It's a kind of time share.
Luckily, he is not a large cat but I don't want to get into fights with any other cat. So I usually just slink back into the house and feel miserable. The microchip cat flap means the house is safe from him.
Last evening I saw him being chased across the wall by a larger cat. It was a great moment.

• For help in managing your human read this book here.