Rat delivery to the isolated

 This week I did my best to help my isolated human. She has been having difficulties with online food deliveries so I set up my own rat delivery system.
I delivered two delicious rats. I couldn't resist a nibble so one of them was only half a rat. 
I put this one on my human's bed, where she would find it after her boring breakfast of porridge. Better than bacon I thought.
I was wrong. She shouted in anger and threw it away.
Maybe she didn't like being given the lower half, I thought.
So I went and got a second one, a whole one, still half alive, and delivered it to the living room.
Young, tender, still warm - it looked good on the red carpet.
I was proud of my efforts.
Was she pleased? No. This time she screamed, pushed it into a bucket with a stick and threw it in the hedge.
Humans don't do gratitude.

• To learn more about human behaviour get my book here.