Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Saturday, January 02, 2016

No New Year feline resolutions.... purrfect as we are.

Dear George, 
Hope everybody had a safe and happy holidays season! My Christmas was very merry indeed with lots of treats and toys!
On New Year’s Eve I shared the turkey with my human family! That was a super bonus! I’m quite content and in a very relaxed mood (as you can see in the photo). So, I decided to have “No New Year’s resolutions” in 2016! Why would I? I have no desire to eat less or lose weight; I have no desire to exercise more or to change myself to a better cat!
I think I’m fine the way I am; I think I’m a cool, fine cat.  What do you think?
Do you have New Year’s Resolutions? Would I miss something by not having any?
May 2016 bring to every cat health, a warm home and a juicy mouse and to their human families health and joy!
Happy New Year to all!
CAT Victoria

Dear Victoria,
What a wise cat you are. And cool. And fine in every way. Don't let a few fragments of turkey change your decision. We felines should not buy into the human obsession with weight control. And why would we want to change ourselves in any way. We are purrfect as we are.... unlike some humans.
Humans need to make New Year resolutions. My secretary is one of these. Due to poor purrformance over Christmas by that plastic thing she called a "mouse", there was no internet access. I walked up and down the keyboard as much as I could, and it made no difference. I was cut off from the feline world of internet cats....
So my New Year Resolution is made on her behalf. Be more assiduous in your duties, woman. Put more effort into service to me, rather than ridiculous studying. You are failing in your duties.
Yours
George.
PS.  And don't think that small portions of goose make up for lack of service, woman. I cannot be bribed by just a few fragments. It would take a whole side of breast.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Eating safely.... difficult for both cats and humans.

Dear George,
What do cats in Europe eat? I'm asking since recently I got sick and everybody thought the food I ate was the culprit! Honestly I don't know what to say more that I'm on a special diet of dry kibbles recommended by my doctor. I'm much better now but I start worrying about what I eat. It seems we have a big problem with pet food contaminated with Round-up in North America.
See for yourself what this lady, Shirley, has to say..."Yet another reason to feed our cats a raw food diet. The herbicide glyphosate, which is the active ingredient in weed killer Round Up, has been found in pet foods. A recently-released study by Dr. Anthony Samsel and Stephanie Seneff reported that "We found significant levels of both glyphosate and AMPA in all pet foods tested (Table 15)." (AMPA is "aminomethylphosphonic acid.)
Dr. Michael W. Fox, a veterinarian who writes a syndicated column, says that when the preservative sodium nitrate (which is frequently used in pet food) combines with glyphosate, the combination is deadly. He used that word, deadly. 
The study is here.

George, do you think there are humans out there trying to poison us?
Is the solution....indeed... a raw meat diet?
Confused
Spokey


Dear Spokey,
The ideal diet would be mice, the odd bird, and the occasional insect, all of them with their skin and bones left on to be eaten. We have very exact requirements. We need taurine, which comes from meat. So don't feed us a vegetarian diet, as there is no taurine in plants. We need arachidonic acid, a fatty acid which dogs can make in their own bodies but we can't. So don't feed us dog food. And home-made diets may result in serious deficiencies or even the opposite, too much vitamin A. So don't feed us home made or any liver. Just flesh meat is not natural: animals eat skin and bone too.
Do not be confused by claims that natural is always good. Natural is not always good.
Raw food?  There are problems. The American Veterinary Association says they have the risk of giving cats or dogs food poisoning (and a risk to our humans). Because cats, unlike dogs, are not natural scavengers, they may be in even more danger than dogs. And what do the meat products include? In Germany a couple of dogs have developed hyperthyroidism (almost never seen in dogs) because the raw food included too many neck parts, which include the thyroid gland. And anyway in nature, cats would not be eating pork, beef and lamb.
It is safer to feed a good quality cat food, preferably in envelopes or dry rather than in a can. And avoid giblet flavour - as cans and giblets have been linked with the development of hyperthyroidism in cats. In the UK there is now a packeted raw food diet here which might be suitable: but I would want to check it out very carefully first. 
Finally, yes commercial pet foods can be contaminated quite severely. There's a website for petfoods that have had to be recalled here, though I don't agree with much of what it says. Never eat any cat food that was made in China. And don't believe the labels! Both dogs and kittens have been poisoned by excess vitamin D found in a so called "organic" food. 
It's a rough world out there, Spokey.  Oddly enough eating a food made by a major company is probably a bit safer, simply because they have more to lose if their pet food gets a bad reputation.
Yours gloomily.
George.
PS. Excuse me. I am just going to pop out for a nice fresh mouse. Even if it is contaminated by weedkiller used by the next door house owner.

 

Saturday, November 14, 2015

Chico's story - the cat that came out of the cold.

Dear George, 
Until a week ago I didn’t have a name….I was kind of “no name” tomcat living on the streets and eating from the garbage bins for about 2-3 years. Even if I had a name I wouldn’t recall it anymore as my only interaction with humans was with this lady who was feeding me in her backyard ….occasionally.
I once had a home and I was spoiled but…I don’t know what happened that I ended up being kicked out and left in the cold. And winters are cold in Canada. I was in a very rough state with an eye infection and scratches and scars all over my body!
I was very tempted to write a “funny” letter about how I was hi-jacked by a human and then abducted by an alien but I think my story is much more serious and hopefully will be an inspiration for other humans.
So, last week the nice lady who was feeding me in her backyard “trapped” me and put me in a cage and then she drove away – that’s what I call hijacking!Then she stopped somewhere in an unfamiliar place and I’ve seen this white vehicle (it could have been an extra-terrestrial car) and this strange looking man who came and took the carrier I was in – that’s what I call …abducted by an alien J
He took me to what I thought was the ET base since everybody was dressed in green and there was this man in green (David) who seems to be the chief operator and this nice lady (Jody) who seemed to be very friendly. OK! The truth is that the alien man took me to a vet clinic where I got a new lease on life! I was spayed, vaccinated, one infected tooth extracted and the others scaled and polished, dewormed, fleas’ treatment, antibiotics for all the scars and scratches and of course, treatments for the eyes. I spent two days and two nights at the vet clinic and now I’m like new.
The “alien” man took me home where I met his wife. They paid the vet bill without any expectations. They even are looking to find me a nice house with a large backyard since I’m used to outdoors and they live in an apartment. They don’t seem to be in any rush though. They are very loving and caring; they cook for me, they play with me and they look for my best interest. All I do for now is sleep and sleep and sleep since it has been such a long time since I had a safe and warm place to do it. I don’t know if I’ll continue to live with this couple or I’ll find a forever home with a backyard but, for now I feel loved and safe as I didn’t feel in a long time. George, my heart goes to all the cats that are on the streets, abandoned and abused.
Just wanted to share my story
Chico (oh! the alien man’s wife called me Chico) 

Dear Chico, 
Thank you for sharing your story with me. Out there in the cold - in Canada, in the USA and in the UK - are thousands of lost or abandoned cats suffering from starvation and hypothermia. So please ask your human pets to donate to their local cat rescue and help save feline lives this winter.
Hopefully
George
PS. My local rescue is www.sunshinecatrescue.org.uk

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Teeth .... I'm afraid of the dentist!


Dear George, 
Please do take a look at my photo (attached) and tell me what do you see?I bet ….you’ll say: “a lazy cat” as everybody else does, but let me tell you that what you see is a “worried cat”. Why I’m worried? I’m worried because my humans decided that I need a “teeth cleaning” and I heard them ….debating anesthesia.  
Well, I don’t like the idea at all; neither teeth cleaning nor anesthesia. What if I’ll never wake up from it? I never heard my grandparents or great-grandparents to have their teeth cleaned. I never heard of any cat brushing its teeth. Are my humans crazy? George, how can I get my teeth cleaned….in a simple and easy way?
SOS - in a haste
Vegas

Dear Vegas,
The easiest way to keep your teeth clean, is to get your human to buy special dental dry food and mix it with your ordinary kibble. Special dental food has larger than normal bits of kibble and crunching each bit of kibble up helps keep teeth clean. Chews and dental treats are delicious too. 
Other possibilities are Vet Aquadent Anti Plaque Solution which can be added to your water, or Logic oral hygeine gel put directly into your mouth. It tastes quite pleasant  Some humans use a toothbrush with special feline toothpaste to clean our teeth but I personally won't stand for this invasion of my mouth. A couple of sharp bites put a stop to Celia trying it on!
I rarely consult my human, as she has nothing much of interest to say. But lately she told me she had spent a total of about 10 hours in the dentist's chair (spread over 3 months) for some complicated dental work. She would have preferred anesthesia so that she didn't have to sit there waiting for the dentist to drill down. So if painkillers or anaesthetic is on offer, embrace them with all four paws!
Believe me, Vegas, drifting off into an anaesthetic sleep is better than being present. And when you wake up, all the nasty stuff will be over.
Yours earnestly
George
PS. If you do have to have anaesthetic, get your humans to ask the vet if anything else needs checking while you are under. It might be a good time to make sure you don't have any arthritis.

Saturday, September 05, 2015

The big career decision - free as a feral or adopting a human.

Dear George,
I am facing a big decision. Shall I adopt a human or just live a human-free life? I was born in a factory with three brothers and sisters. Our mother vanished and we were taken into care by Sunshine Cat Rescue. The other three were neutered and spayed and will probably go on to lead a life free of humans. I was too ill.
You know what happened next, George, as I am living in a room in the house belonging to Tilly and Toby. Celia is trying to purrsuade me that my future is to adopt a human. She has been feeding me by hand, slowly accustoming me to her touch and, really, I quite like her. If I could adopt her, I probably would. 
You can see my experience on YouTube here. There are videos showing my progress in the new life. At first I couldn't stop hissing and hiding from her: now I have got used to her.
But as you know, Toby is bored with me and Tilly is sheer plumb disgusted. So if I choose a career as a pet, I will have to adopt a new human. I have been spayed, so if I live as a feral cat I shall not be worn out with kitten bearing. It's difficult to decide. What are the pros and cons, George.
Yours undecided,
Abby the Tabby.

Dear Abby,
It's a no brainer.  You adopt a human and you get free catfood for life, excellent medical care, and a devoted servant. There is central heating all the time, a very large bed (which admittedly you will have to share with your human), and if you are lucky a cat flap. So you won't have to give up hunting and you will have many happy hours training your human.
Of course, there is a downside. You won't have a sex life, but that would be true for you even if you did decide on the free feral life. Life with a human can be boring, but that is only if you don't have the imagination to make them more active. Agility training for humans, purrsuading them to play games with you, is good for mental and physical health, both for you and for your pet.
So that is the way you should go. That was my career choice and I have never regretted it.
Yours solemnly
George.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

I'm learning to trust humans - but worried about a feline bully


Dear George,
I’m a rescue and, of course I live in a multiple cat house. I’m the only girl and very shy.
I’ve always been very shy and not very trustful, especially of humans. One of my “brothers” is a bully and I don’t know how to deal with that. My humans are very supportive of me but they work late hours. Lately I started going to them for an occasional rubbing and petting and they seemed to be very happy. Yesterday, after quite few hours of playing time with them I heard them saying “she’s coming out of her shell”. I got nervous as I don’t know what that means? Am I going to lose my coat? What shell are they talking about?
Nervously
Princess Penelope

Dear Princess Penelope,
Feline bullies are difficult to deal with. Do you have your own safe sleeping area, where he cannot intrude upon you? Doe he block your way to the litter tray? Or have your humans got several trays so that you can always get to one without anxiety? The same with food. You should not have to eat in close proximity to him. There should be several food and water locations. 
I am so glad that you are beginning to trust your humans. I hope that you are able to spend some time with them, without the bully being there to intimidate you by staring or blocking. You should train them to feed you cat treats when you go towards them, so that you are getting rewarded for overcoming your fear. Patient humans will be rewarded by your love.
Yours sympathetically
George
PS.  Celia has taken to taming a feral kitten instead of concentrating her time on serving me. I am fed up. You can see it here.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

The dog who saved a cat.


Dear George,

I’m not going to repeat my story as most of your blog followers know me by now but I want to introduce Hallie – the dog who saved me - she is such a goodhearted and beautiful girl. Around Christmas Hallie lost her “cat” who was her best friend. She suffered so much that her mommy (my mommy now too) had to come home with a cat who would befriend Hallie. When I arrived to my new home, Hallie was all too happy to see me but I wasn’t so sure.  I lived my life on the streets or in the pet food store until then. Of course I’ve seen dogs before but never lived with one. I was overweight and didn’t know how to play. Hallie and mommy taught me to play and have fun.  I lost the extra pounds soon and started having so much fun. Hallie even gifted me with her favorite couch – as you can see in the photo. The nickname of my new home is “harmony.” Everything and everybody is so nice, loving and lovely.

I know the saying that cats and dogs don’t get along but this is one example that actually we do. And Hallie is one smart and beautiful dog.

With gratitude

Bander

Dear Bander, 
Congratulations on your sensible relationship with Hallie. You are so obviously Top Cat. You have taken over her couch, as any self respecting cat would, and she is lying below you in a submissive posture. Quite right too. Cats should always look down on dogs.
I am so glad you have recovered the gift of play. Play is so important.  Dogs play in almost all circumstances but we cats can usually only play if we feel relaxed and happy enough. It comes of the fact that we are the more grown up than canines. Dogs are more likely to be permanently young at heart. Which is why they even look up to humans, can you believe it? Poor silly souls.
Happy endings are what I love most. So many of my friends like Tilly and Toby have gone through adversity and it is such a pleasure to read how they adopted a suitable human and achieved  happiness at last.
Yours
George
PS. Bad news.  Celia has decided to go North to the Shetland Islands to look at wild birds. She's not going to catch them, but just look. So she will not be available to type my blog next Saturday. I wish humans would not let us down like this.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Rescued... once again.


Dear George,
It's me, Bander, the cat rescued by a whole pet food store! Remember my story? Well, let me tell you the latest news! After that client of ours started making sarcastic comments about my size and shape...the staff analyzed the situation and they agreed that I'm taking my job as the night shift "food quality manager" way too serious (as you can see in photo 1) and this might affect my health. Since there was no other career opening for the moment at the store, the youngest staff member (and the cutest) Danielle decided to take me home to boss her dog around. You might think "why a dog"? Well, this dog is very special; he LOVES cats - can't live without a cat bossing him around! So, I was rescued once again! But, the dog is a lot of work! We play together, we sleep together, but we don't eat together! The result of my new job? I slimmed down a lot as you can see in photo 2. Of course I'm happy! I have a big backyard and a lot of space to run around, I have a lovely dog to boss around and I have the most lovely Danielle to cuddle to.
But the truth is that even if I'm very happy now...my ego was hurt when people tried to shame me for being fat! George, for my own sake please explain to me the difference between being fat, overweight and obese! In my not so humble opinion ...I was just well rounded and nothing else!
Cheers,
Bander

Dear Bander,
This puts me in a bit of a spot. In principle I claim that humans have no right to be judgemental about feline size - I mean just take a look at the passersby from your window. About 60% are overweight and of those a further 50% are obese. This species has no right to be critical of fat cats. And I strongly object to the way we are stigmatised in the press, as if we were money-grubbing humans. Cats are not interested in money. This is a particularly vile insult.
That said, being very overweight is not good for our health. Cats get arthritic like humans and being overweight is a stress on the joints. It's probably not good for a whole range of other diseases too and I would remind all cats reading this that disease means a trip to those torturers known as vets. Stay healthy and you stay out of the vet's surgery with its horrible smells and whining dogs.
Overweight? The STS or Sagging Tummy Syndrome does inflict many of us, who are unable to regulate our diet naturally. And if we don't have any exercise, it gets worse. I am lucky enough to go out and kill rats and mice, but indoor cats cannot hunt - so they need hunting games with their humans. Obese? That is more of a problem. If the human cannot feel your ribs, then it is an issue. So perhaps leaving your job as food quality inspector was a good idea.
But I bet the customers miss you.
Love 
George

Saturday, April 04, 2015

Dinner is late.... again

Dear George,
I was blessed with a good family! I always took pride in how well I trained my humans but lately I have my doubts. Between you and me? I think I failed in training my "daddy".
See, I always enjoyed having dinner with him! What can be better than looking in each other's eyes and share a ..... juicy steak? But, he is a workaholic! And, I'm afraid I'll develop "emotional eating" waiting for him every night! Sometimes I climb 50 feet tall trees trying to see where he is but most of the times I'm waiting for him in the kitchen (as you can see in the photo attached). George, I worry about my wellbeing! I read in a book that "emotions" derived from the Latin verb "emovere" meaning "to move" therefore the word "emotion" covers any feeling that moves the mind and my mind it is "moved" towards "eating"! George, what do you know about "emotional eating"? Is it going to make me fat? Most humans manifesting "emotional eating" are fat and depressed.
Should I become a vegetarian and punish my daddy?
Yours in distress
Paco

Dear Paco,
Do not despair. We all of us have these moments when we think we have failed. Failed to train our humans properly. Failed to allow for their little foibles. And it is at moments like this that we need help and support from other felines.  
Yes, some cats do develop emotional eating - from boredom, from stress or from the difficulties of living with a different species (humans). But you do not look to me, as if you would do that. I can tell from the wonderful look of your coat that he has not failed in his grooming duties. And there is a look in your eye which tells me you are more resilient.
You are letting your human control you. That is a big mistake. Make him wait for you. Cut that waiting down by doing more tree climbing. If you have access to the street, start checking out alternative sources of food. Is there a lonely human somewhere who might feed you on the sly? Can you break through a cat flap and steal another cat's food?
That way when he comes home from a hard day's work, you won't be so hungry. Make him search for you. And use that wonderful look in your eye to make him feel guilty, very very guilty, so that you will get more of his steak! Act starving even though you have dined elsewhere.
I have full confidence in your abilities.
George.
 PS. Do not turn vegetarian: it is not a good diet for cats.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Danger..... Easter eggs can kill you.

Dear George,
Please would you warn your readers about next week. Humans go slightly mad on the food front. It's painful to see them sitting down to large meals of roast lamb followed by creamy deserts, while we cats and dogs just have our normal envelope of soft food or a handful of dry kibble.
Naturally, I keep an eye out for any crumbs that fall off the table or the kitchen surfaces - if I can get there before my friend, Daisy the dog. She's a Labrador so she will bolt down anything - bread, chips, potatoes, sprouts, fruit, and..... chocolate.
That's what she did this time last year. She found an Easter Egg on the coffee table, tore off its wrappings and ate the lot.  I didn't get a look in.
A few hours later she was shivering, breathing heavily and wandering around restlessly. Luckily the humans returned, found the wrapping, and rushed her to the vet. She survived.  This chocolate turns out to be poisonous to dogs, cats and even parrots.
I felt pretty smug that I hadn't had so much as a nibble. So warn your readers not to touch that stuff. It's dangerous.
Yours
Tabitha.

Dear Tabitha,
Humans make pigs of themselves with chocolate. And they are hopelessly irresponsible about leaving it around. Odd, isn't it? They can eat pounds of the stuff without getting ill - though they do get fat. Apparently the chemical, theobromine, gives them a high but doesn't hurt them. To us, it can be deadly.
Apparently most vets in the UK have to treat pets for chocolate poisoning this time of year. And warn Daisy about grapes and raisins.  Most humans don't know that these too can kill dogs and probably cats too, if we were silly enough to eat them. There's information here.
As for the selfish behaviour of humans around food... it never ceases to amaze me. Here I am stuck with the same old cat food day by day, while they feast on takeaways, roast dinners, and exotic dishes. Of course, I steal what I can. What cat wouldn't?
But I shall stay away from chocolate.
Yours
George.

Friday, February 06, 2015

Training your human to give you food - Toby shows how it is done.

Dear George,
I have trained a Japanese vet to give me food, when I jump over an obstacle. Altogether an amazing experience and one that I am very proud of. It took several days because she was so slow.
At first she failed to give me any food at all. But she did pay attention to me, so I knew there were possibilities there. When I saw her fiddling about with something that looked like a very small horse jump, I tried several different behaviours.
  • I walked up to it and paused. No food forthcoming.
  • I went for a little walk No food.
  • I walked round it and looked at her. Still no food.
  • Then inspiration struck. I leaped over it. FOOD!!
She was so excited by this, that she made little beep-beep vocalisations. Rather like Celia does after I taught her to give food when I touched her hand.  These humans! With infinite patience, they can learn quite a few amusing food tricks.
Yours
Toby.

Dear Toby,
Congratulations.  It is so worthwhile to purrsist in training your human to deliver food. You are, of course, right. It takes days of effort because human are really not as bright as cats. We have to keep trying and keep our patience.
Food placed in a bowl, even food left available all the time, or stolen food - these are the agreeable aspects of living with a human. But sophisticats go for something rather more cerebral. They train their humans to deliver food on command.
The command you need is not a vocalisation. It is a piece of cute behaviour. Do it and you will be rewarded. You did it. Well done.
Simples.
George

Friday, January 30, 2015

I am Wesley, the famous student cat!

Dear George,
I just came across your blog and I think I'm in the right place to get advice. I'm a rescue and I have recently adopted a human kitten not knowing that he attends university in a different city. As he didn't want to leave me behind he took me with him to the student camp where he lives. So I became instantly famous (even if some would call me infamous) and very, very spoiled. Just imagine having at least 4 big guys, all football players, taking care of me!

But, I need your expertise in nutrition as I want to make sure that I eat right for my age  and all my adopted human kittens eat right too (they are athletes after all and probably need more protein, etc). I'm not worried about food when we have a school break as we always go back home to our human mommy and she cooks well! So....dry or wet food for me? What about treats? Should I share food with my human kittens? They eat mostly meat sandwiches. Or....should I just stay home with Mommy?
In gratitude 
Wesley
Dear Wesley, 
I do envy you. Four big football guys all taking care of you! Lucky old you. I bet that they are real softies.
Nutrition. Adolescent humans usually eat very badly indeed and meat sandwiches are not the ideal cat food. (Nor are they the ideal human food, which should contain fruit and vegetables not just meat and bread). By all means eat a bit of sandwich when you fancy it. A little of what you fancy does you good, but try and get more of the meat and less of the bread! Don't let them fob you off with the outside crusts.
Mouse sandwiches would be a great idea if you could purrsuade your football guys to go in that direction. Could you tempt them by catching one and presenting it to them? Raw mouse is probably the best natural food of all but for some reason, humans are squeamish about feeding them to us. And they don't seem able to produce tinned mouse.
Wet food or dry food? Wet food is great but not ideal for teeth. Dry food can lead to a cat being dehydrated unless they have the chance to drink whenever they want but is better for keeping your teeth clean. Tell your human to put out two bowls in two different locations so you always have a choice.
If you have a cat flap I recommend wandering down the street, and sampling various houses to see if the humans there offer a better brand of cat food. If you are an indoor-only cat it's trickier. Train your human to buy the brand you prefer by purring loudly when you get it. When you get an inferior brand, look at it disdainfully, then walk away. Or take a few mouthfuls and then try to cover it up, like you would cover up the contents of a litter tray.
This usually makes your human feel guilty and we cats make guilt work for us. 
Yours enviously,
George
PS. I can't read ingredients on cat food containers. Celia can read them but says she can't understand them. All the percentages depend on the amount of water in the food and she can't work out what the ingredient "ash" means.


Friday, December 19, 2014

Christmas is coming..... food, trees, and catnip

Dear George,
Christmas is coming and I don't know if it's a good thing or not given the high level of anxiety experienced by my family. I don't even know if it's anxiety or excitement. Lately they went nuts - they cook, they bake, they decorate the house, they stay up late and all these are disturbing my sleep. I don't exactly know who Christmas is and how it looks like or how Christmas will get to our house but I don't want anybody invading my territory! All I hear all day long is "let's share....it's Christmas" or "be nice.....it's Christmas" or "in the spirit of Christmas" over and over again! I remember last year about same time we got the house full of my humans' family and friends and I had to hide for a full week. I don't want this to happen again so I got up high on the roof watching my territory (picture attached). But....should I really chase Christmas away if I see it coming to my house? To tell you the truth George.....I like how the house is decorated, I like the smell of food and cookies, I like the festive atmosphere....so what should I do?
I like that everybody is jolly and they wish each other Merry Christmas!
Maybe if you'll explain to me what Christmas is all about and how I can best enjoy it....I will stay up high and...welcome Christmas in my territory!
A very meowy Christmas to all....
Zoe

Dear Zoe,  
It is not easy to explain Christmas. Humans are so inconsistent. On the one hand it is boring for cats - lots of strange humans coming round, too much liquid catnip consumed, humans quarrelling or laughing inanely... And, boy can they eat - turkey, goose, ham, bacon, sausages, pudding, brandy butter, custard, cream, bits on sticks, bits on binis, smoked salmon, unsmoked salmon, prawns, pasta, .... enough to make a sensible cat sick.
Feast well but a note of warning. Yes, there is a lot of food on offer. You can sneak into the room where they are going to eat and if you are quiet just fill up on whatever is there.You can steal stuff off the kitchen counter. You can gobble up fallen bits of food on the kitchen floor. You can pull down the trash can and eat what is inside it. You can even go out in the garden and eat some of the food they put down for the birds. 
Avoid the liquid catnip. There are cats who have overindulged and fallen off the mantlepiece breaking a leg or two. Avoid the Christmas pieces of string or tinsel - they can get wrapped round your innards. Avoid grapes, onions, avocado, raisins and chocolate - all poisonous. There's no need to make a fool of yourself. Humans will do that for you.
Christmas trees are fair game. Liven up the party by climbing up them. Or by pulling them down. Take a look at some creative felines adding to the Christmas fun here
Have a happy Christmas.
George



Friday, November 28, 2014

Strange creatures invading my territory


Dear George,
I was strongly advised by my cousin, CAT Victoria,  to write to you and ask for help as neither one of us knew what to do in my dramatic situation. Here is my story: I was rescued as a kitten and after a stressful period of adaptation in my new home (mostly due to being continuously sniffed at by the dog) I finally came to terms with everything and everybody (meaning the dog). My humans are very well trained and I think it is more of my cousin's merit rather then their human intelligence. Anyway, they provide and I take - as you can see in the photo attached. However, my happiness is in danger and I have no intention to let it be short lived. I enjoy my new home, I ignore the dog on daily basis and  I kinda like my mommy, especially when she's holding me in her arms. But....I was horrified to discover this strange creature (photo on the right)
EATING my food in the backyard. George, what is this? Certainly it's not a dog nor is it a cat. Its coat hurts anybody touching it and this strange "thing" can disappear in a ball. CAT Victoria thinks it is an ET and she's trying to communicate with it. This strange creature dares to eat my food and dares to sleep in one of my little houses in the backyard. The worst part yet? My humans seem to like this "thing"; they are talking to it and gave it a name. Is there a possibility that I might have been rescued and adopted by extra-terrestrials? Do you think they plan to abduct me and take me to the outer space? At least that's what my cousin thinks. George, do you think I'm safe in this creature's proximity?
Help(less)
Kitty-Kitty

Dear Kitty-Kitty,
Human beings are ridiculous. They have you, one of the most beautiful cats in the world with your amazing wildlife coat colouring, and they are giving your food away to a small odd creature with spikes and fleas. No, Victoria is wrong. It's not an alien, though it looks like one. It won't eat you or abduct you or try to form a relationship of some unhealthy type.
I think your hedgehog looks slightly different from the ones near me (photo below). Shorter noses perhaps.

But hedgehogs are natural flea bags. Covered with them. As your silly humans will discover if they try to pick it up. Admittedly hedgehog fleas are not cat fleas but even hedgehog fleas can give us cats quite a nasty bite. So my advice to you is to keep a sensible distance away from it. Tell Victoria if she wants to communicate to do it from a distance. Perhaps she could try some kind of feline semaphore!
And what on earth is it doing in the garden as winter approaches? Here in the UK they hibernate. They find heaps of leaves or grass and burrow down into it and sleep through the bad weather. Some people buy hedgehog hibernation cabins here.
May I be frank, Kitty-Kitty. Just ignore this latest human craze. It's not worth bothering about their behaviour.  Hedgehogs are boring. Now if it was mice.....
Yours
George 
PS.  If you hate your humans, or keep having to punish them with claws and teeth, then a TV company would like to hear from you. Email them at catdocumentary@gmail.com 


Saturday, November 01, 2014

Bander, the pet shop cat, - should I go on diet?

Dear George,
My name is Bander and I consider myself one lucky cat!
Why? First and foremost because I'm a rescue!
Secondly, because I was rescued and adopted by an entire pet food store... Yes! Everybody loves me - starting with the owner, the staff and ending, of course, with the store's clients. Do you realize what that means for me? It means lots of petting and belly rubbing and unlimited free food - as much as I want from everything!
One particular client keeps telling the staff that I'm a bit skinny and asks how often do they feed me. They look at him like he is crazy since they think I'm well "too rounded" (pictures attached). But, I  took his saying at heart. I knew he's being sarcastic but his remark helped me develop a very entertaining habit at night. You see, when I'm alone in the store I feel so empowered and in charge...that I can do whatever I want, I literally can pick and choose! And, I choose to open whatever bag of food inspires me! Some nights I open two - three bags (not that I finish any) just for fun or maybe because I'm bored. They say I should exercise. But how can I exercise if I'm confined indoors? I'm no hamster to run on a wheel. And, honestly, food just tastes better than toy
George, I need your help as I don't know what to do. Do you think I should be on a diet?

Bander

Dear Bander,
Take no notice whatsoever of these remarks. As the manager of a pet store, it is clear to me that you must sample your wares. How else can you tell if you are selling high value products? How can you fulfill your duties to your customers without careful investigation and trials of the various food items.
As for exercise, tearing open food bags does involve exercise - clawing, tearing, pulling etc. And if you are sampling products, it is important to sample several rather than finish just one. 
It seems to me that what you are doing is a justifiable commercial activity. Get your humans to wise up. If they want to exercise you perhaps they could release some white mice or merely important some ordinary house mice. Then you could have real fun with a delicious meal at the end.
Yours sympathetically
George.
PS. It is a human (not a feline) failing to be obsessed with body shape. Who cares! 


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Beware the poison in the flower and the evil in the leaves.....

Dear George,
My name is Mack and I have no idea how old I am but, I know I'm a lucky survivor.
Survivor to what? you may ask! Well...to poison!
One night this past August my humans came home with a big bouquet of flowers laughing and chatty and happy - it looked like they were celebrating something.
They had some champagne, kissed me good night and went to sleep.
I was left alone in the living room; I certainly didn't feel like finishing the champagne so I nibbled on some flowers
Next I know? I woke up in a hospital then....vomit, torture with some tubes through my throat and a lot of misery.
Why all this? It seems that some flowers I nibbled on were poisonous for cats.
George, can you give us some advice on poisonous plants/flowers so our humans can learn and avoid bring such in the house?

Grateful to be alive
Mack


Dear Mack,
Phew. What a narrow escape. The most likely reason why you were poisoned was because the bouquet includes lilies (see photo on right). These are poisonous in flower and stem if you eat them but there is another danger. The pollen on their stamens can fall to the ground, be picked up on your paws or coat, and then when you groom yourself you swallow it. Your humans should cut off the stamens and shake out any pollen inside the flower before they bring lilies into the house and put them in a safe place. Better still not buy them at all.

The other poisonous house plant is poinsetta, a plant with decorative leaves that is often given as a Christmas present. The danger isn't so great with this, as you will only be poisoned if you nibble it. There isn't the danger of pollen. But tell your humans to be better safe than sorry.
For a complete list of dangerous plants go to International Cat Care.  Indoor cats with a nibbling habit are at greater danger than cats that have other things to do. Other common dangerous substance are human medicine (aspirin for one), canine flea products containing permethrin (many cats have died of this), and antifreeze.
Stay well. 
George

Friday, August 15, 2014

The feline path to serenity. May all your humans get fat.

-->
Dear George,

Looking at my photo…you may think I’m meditating but, actually I’m praying!

I’m praying to God! Why? Because that’s what one does when in disappear.

Lately I have been criticized for being too fat, that I’m eating way too much or too fast or that I’m eating like it’s “no tomorrow”. Well, who can tell if there is going to be a “tomorrow”? Don’t they say “live in the moment”? That’s exactly what I’m trying to do

and I’m being chastised for it?  So, I pray to God that if He can’t make me skinny….then, make all my friends (including my humans) fat! George, don’t you think this is the right thing to do? Let them put on some pounds and see how hard is to lose them.

Yours in God’s grace

Lenny

Dear Lenny,
Humans underestimate the superior spirituality of us cats.  Only a very few of them - Florence Nightingale was one - realise that by imitating a cat, humans can find their path to inner peace. 
Here are some of the inspirational characteristics of us cats. We live in the moment. We do not obsess about the past: we rescue cats move on. We do not become emotionally dependent upon anybody or anything. We understand serenity and we know peace. We also intuitively know how to handle things that baffle humans - rats, for instance. When we are happy, we play like kittens.
Here are some of the things we don't do. We don't rush around getting and spending. We don't care about or for money. We don't drink alcohol and the only drugs we use is catnip, which we use in natural moderation. We don't fuss about weight. We live our lives with a kind of natural modesty. 
I hope your prayers are answered and that all your humans become fat.
Love George.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Purrfect Kitchen Cleaning Services Ltd.

Dear George,
We are a team of two young and enthusiastic entrepreneurs. Our business is to clean any food left in the kitchen. We are thinking of registering a company with the above title….just in case other members of the feline community will need our services. Why Ltd. (limited)? Because some people are very bad at leaving any food out or they would leave out junk that we can’t “clean” (like ketchup, garlic powder, chili peppers, etc.) We are fine observers (from higher up levels) of both kitchens and people as you can see in the photo attached.
We inspect any surface or dish in the kitchen looking for bits of bread, meat or any other “people food” that cats may enjoy. However, being so young…we must admit…we don’t have enough experience when it comes to sneaky (please read sophisticated) people who are hiding food in all places.
That’s where we need your help and expertise George. For example – where is the food from the big plate that Jasper is sitting on? We’ve seen the smoke, the vapors and the smells coming out of “this” thing but when we looked to see what’s cooking….nothing was in there (people call this thing a hood?). Myself, Riley, I’m up and above to see what’s up there ….but, there is nothing again and I can swear I’ve seen our human mommy hiding something up here.  Also, how can we open locked cabinets and what do we do with the food we found in the “cold” big box we managed to open? Brrrr! It was cold and full of frozen meat! Ugh!
Waiting for your tips and tricks!
Yours,
Riley and Jasper

Dear Riley and Jasper, 
I have a cleaning routine. First I patrol round the floor looking for anything that fell off the higher surfaces. Next I leap on to the kitchen surfaces and check these out too. You will be surprised at the crumbs and tidbits that you find.  If you are in luck, there may even be a plate to lick. One one glorious occasion I found an open bowl of semolina pudding. I ate - apologies - cleaned up most of it.
I have never mastered opening a closed wall cupboard, but if you look carefully you may find one that isn't entirely closed. Insert a cautious paw and pull it open. Then jump on to the shelving inside. 
For floor level, try another technique. Fling yourself at the cupboards. They may swing open in reaction. The big freezer boxes? If you are strong enough to pull out a frozen chicken take it away somewhere to defrost. The fridge is easy. Plenty there to clean up if your human is unwise enough to leave the door ajar.
And help recycle the trash! Some people have a recycling food box on the kitchen surface. Edge this off and with luck when it falls on the floor the top will open. Recycle this inwardly. For a larger trash can, stand on your hind legs and pull it over with your weight while nimbly leaping to one side at the last minute.
The hood - normally a waste of time, but it is fun to sit there and survey the cooking. As for you, Riley, that high up retreat is fun but usually you won't find much food there either.
Happy kitchen cleaning, boys.
George.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org