Showing posts with label beds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beds. Show all posts

Friday, March 17, 2023

The cat-human sleeping partnership.

 


Do we help humans sleep? This question has now been investigated by scientists who declare that we don't. Having a cat on the bed is more likely to give a human jerking legs.

But, of course, it is the wrong question....

The correct way to look at the feline-human sleep partnership is to ask whether humans help us sleep. And the answer is clear - yes, they do. Here are the reasons why:

  • A human body acts like a large hot water bottle, giving off useful warmth to the feline body.
  • When their limbs are arranged in the correct position, they can keep drafts away from the sleeping feline.
  • They are easily trained to move, while sleeping, so that we have more space, when we need to stretch out.

What can a cat do for a better night's sleep? Here are some suggestions.

  • If there are two humans in the bed, sleep between them to minimize drafts or unwanted human activity. Cats are a natural contraceptive.
  • The single human should be encouraged to curl round the sleeping feline body, reducing drafts that way.
  • Wake up snoring humans at regular intervals. there is usually a period of time before heavy snoring reoccurs.

Saturday, February 18, 2023

A Valentine's Day for cat lovers?

I wish there was a Valentine's day for cat-human partners.

Neither she nor I got a Valentine card last week, not even an anonymous one. But we have each other.

Who wants a same-species partner, anyway? I certainly don't. I don't get on with strange cats and I would  be devastated (and very angry) if a new cat came into the household. I am a one-woman cat.

She doesn't want one either. She has had her share and now she prefers the serenity of sleeping in the double bed - without a man.

She is not alone, of course. Neither of us are alone. We suit each other (even though I find her tiresome, very tiresome, at times). She loves me and sometimes I love her back.

How?

I give her the slow blink that tells her I am feeling love. Or IO rub against her. Or, in my case, I give her the privilege of petting me while I sleep on her lap.

I am better for her than any other human. I don't answer back, I listen when she is boring on about something, I don't tell her what to do or how to dress, and I don't care that she is older than me.

What human would want another human, when they can get a cat?

Friday, March 11, 2022

Tips for sleeping on the bed.


 Why sleep on the bed, when your human takes up so much room? 

There are three reasons  
  • The bed is large enough for both of you - just. 
  • Although they take up a lot of room, humans give out a lot of heat during the night. They make a good hot water bottle. 
  • It reminds them that we can sleep anywhere we choose and they will just have to get used to it.

And how do you manage that great lump of humanity during the night?

Here are my tips for a good night's sleep. 

  • Start modestly. Put yourself in a position where the human thinks there is enough room..... 
  • Only when they are asleep, move into the most comfortable position. 
  • Edge them slowly out of the way. Slow and steady is the correct way to do it and if you do it this way it is remarkable what you can achieve.
  • Resist the temptation to throw them off the bed completely. They will wake up and might take action against you. Keep them from falling off  - just. 
Be aware that the deluded fools think it is their bed.

Saturday, February 06, 2021

Dogs.... crawling sycophants everywhere.


 There are dogs everywhere I look. Most of them still puppies or juveniles. Feline friends of mine have had their lives ruined by dogs suddenly appearing in their household.

Am I being unfair to another species?

A dog in the household, under proper control by the cat, can provide valuable services - a warm body to sleep near or even on top, garden security to see off other cat intruders into the house, and a greater choice of beds. 

Even the smallest kitten must make her dominance evident from the start.

But the sudden intrusion, into a hitherto happy home, is nevertheless upsetting. Threesomes are not to every cat's taste.

Disloyal humans, in search of a more sycophantic pet, may enjoy canine companionship. We often don't.

It won't end well for the dogs.


Saturday, August 22, 2020

Naked humans and compassionate cats

Naked humans are often shy in front of us, a survey revealed last week. Naked and ashamed of their lack of fur presumably. Poor hairless humans. I pity them.

Imagine having to cover up your body with clothing, because the only bits of fur you have are on the head, the chin, the armpits and the groin. The wrong places and the wrong type of hair to keep yourself warm. That is the human dilemma.

Many cats out of kindness move off the bed when their human is about to strip off and go to somewhere private like the linen cupboard. We cats know that staring is upsetting for us: and presumably it upsets naked humans too. The other alternative is to close your eyes and drift off into a deep sleep at these human strip tease moments.

Be compassionate. Don't shame your human. Do not stare at that fur-less human skin.  At moments like this many humans suffer from feelings of inferiority to felines.  Fur envy, I call it.

 

 

 

  •  For further insights in the cat-human relationship read my book here.

 

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Humans snore SO loudly!

Dear George, 
My humans are snoring - one louder than the other. I wonder if this might be a frightening medical condition and if it is ... should I call an ambulance? What should I do? Last night I had to sleep on a chair (as you can see in the photo) because their snoring was greatly disrupting my sleep. Their noise was interfering with my purring rhythm. Terrible. Complely out of sync.
I should move them down to the basement! What do you think?  Maybe I’ll move my dad first as my mummy is not that bad! Actually, most nights we have fun together playing on that screen with moving little arrows or little bugs or mice! Hmm! 
Yes, I should keep her upstairs! How do I move him to the basement?
Sleepless across the pond
CAT Victoria 

Dear CAT Victoria,
You have highlighted one of the insoluble problems of letting humans share your upstairs bed. When they snore the noise is horribly loud and upsets our natural slumbers. Of course, the best way to deal with this is to move the human off our bed and make it sleep on the sofa downstairs. Or even on the floor - I'd have thought that sleeping under a radiator would be quite cosy.
Instead, what usually happens is that we have to leave and go to sleep elsewhere. It's one of the disadvantages of keeping such a gigantic pet. I don't think calling an ambulance is a good idea. You don't want a lot of beefy men in high viz jackets barging into your home and interrupting your sleep. Better do what you are doing and sleep downstairs.
The other possibility is that when the snoring starts up, you jump on the human's midriff. However, some humans then just do a HUGE rolling snort (that I cannot reproduce here) when they wake up and then simply turn over and go back to normal snoring.
Sorry not to be more helpful.
Yours
George.
PS. Some humans claim we cats snore but that is definitely fake news.

Monday, November 05, 2018

Camping for cats....

Dear George, 
After reading other cats’ letters posted on your blog about surfing, hiking, fishing, cat scanning the neighbourhood, etc. I decided I’d go…camping! Thought it would be soooo cool for a cat to go…. camping! Anyway, my plan came true but only half! 
When my human pets heard about my plan they were in total shock and decided: “noooo way Jose”! That’s what they said! Well, I was a bit confused since my name is Jasper not Jose but I blamed their lapse of memory on their mental shock! Never thought I could disturb my humans’ logic so bad by just voicing my desire to go camping! I still don’t understand what’s wrong with camping but, at least they came up with a solution! 
They bought me a little tent so I can go …..camping in my backyard! I know it not the same like camping into the woods but being in my backyard is not that bad either. Mummy tried to scare me with the many dangers lurking out into the woods but I didn’t believe her! Anyway, I got my tent but now I have another problem! My brother Riley doesn’t understand that the tent is mine. He constantly keep sneaking in. Mummy bought him his own tent but, still …he’s all the time into mine (see the photo attached); the worst of it? We end up fighting! 
George, how do I make him understand that he got his own tent?
In desperation  
Jasper

Dear Jasper,
I can see that you don't look too happy by the backward position of your ears. It's a really difficult dilemma. My advice is not to let your human get involved.... if they interfere it may make things worse. Humans think it is natural to share: cats don't share except with very special friends (which presumably Riley is not).
My suggestion - a very tentative one - is that immediately Riley comes into your tent, you leave and take up position in his tent. This is worth a try.  If he takes your tent and stays there, you can take his tent and make it properly yours.  Though he might just follow you again into his tent....
If that happens just leave both of them to him and find a nicer place - like a heap of clean laundry.
Yours
George. 
-->

Saturday, October 06, 2018

Of cats and birthday presents from humans.

Dear George,
I’ve just turned four and I need your help to solve my dilemma; I have a feeling that my human pets didn’t really celebrate my birthday properly! I don’t exactly recall how did they celebrate my other three birthdays but I have this nagging feeling that they didn’t put too much effort into this year celebration. You see, I’m grateful I’ve rescued this stray family with two human kittens and no cats four years ago when I was just a tiny, few weeks old kitten. They seemed to be very happy all this time and I must admit they were very good servants so far. But, growing older and, obviously wiser I started questioning their deeds and, above all their motives! It looks like this year they “gifted” me with a new fence that I can’t climb so I’m confined in my own backyard. They know I love to wonder around the neighborhood so why would they do this to me? It is true they also gifted me with a little hammock and a cushioned basket for the backyard but I’m in my own backyard missing out peeing on my neighbor’s bed of flowers for example!For my birthday dinner I was served with one of my favorite pâté but where was my fresh, juicy mouse with four little candles on its head? Were my humans too lazy to hunt?
George, …these little things are bothering me. Are my humans slacking on their duties? Should I retaliate? Strong or mild punishment? Please advise!
Confused birthday boy,
Leo

Dear Leo,
Humans are hopeless at giving presents. Remember their horrified reactions, when you could still get your paws on a mouse and you gave the wriggling little morsel to them! Not a single "Thank you, Leo." Just squeals of dismay. Like me, you have probably tried over and over again to make them express some gratitude - dead mice, living mice, half dead rabbits and even (I dare say) the odd rat.
They are equally hopeless at giving presents. A mouse with four candles would have been wonderful. Instead you just get more tinned food. Not the same thing at all. How often have you been presented with false furry toy, when you would really have enjoyed a real furry rodent! Too many times!

What to do? My own technique is to follow the traditional feline advice. If it is theirs, take it over. If it is yours, ignore it.
Make your feelings clear by refusing to set paw in the hammock and the basket. Sit in the cardboard boxes that these items came instead.
Yours George
PS. I'd have eaten the pate too. Not a mouse but a shame to waste food.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Blowing a kiss to the cat sitter - punishing humans for "holidays"

Dear George,
Yes, that’s true as you can see in the photo attached! But now I’m in big trouble and I need your help! My intention wasn’t to kiss my cat-sitter good-by, not at all….my intention was to punish my mommy who dared to go on a two week vacation without even asking me or getting my permission! 
See, my mommy rescued me 8 years ago as a kitten and she never went away …not even for a day! But she decided on the spare of the moment to fly across the pond and visit some relatives of hers. She let me home with this live-in cat-sitter, a friend of hers!
Well, considering that they were friends I tried every trick I knew to scare the sitter! I even pretended I ran away from home but in reality I was hiding under a bush in my neighbor’s backyard! I must admit I was delighted to see this lady panicking, calling my name, going from door to door! You might wonder why I did all this! Well I did just to scare my cat-sitter enough to report to my mommy and hoping that….after all this mommy will never ever go away! The cat-sitter is really a nice lady but she didn’t tell mommy anything! 
And that’s why I’m in trouble now; mommy thinks I behaved and I’m a good girl, the cat-sitter thinks I don’t like her and she’ll never come back and in the meantime I’m being left empty paws….no promises from anybody! George, how do I mend my relationship with the cat-sitter?  And most importantly how do I punish my mommy? She must be punished! Must be!
Yours,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
It's the principle of it, isn't it! How dare humans neglect their duty in this way. Going away on a "holiday" is just not acceptable to us cats. No matter how pleasant the cat sitter, no matter how good the service,  the absence of trained staff is always disruptive.
It could be worse. I get put in a prison cell sometimes for as long as a fortnight. A whole 14 days of sitting surrounded by stranger cats, nothing to do, no familiar humans, horrible smells. The only  thing that keeps me going is planning how to punish my human when I get out.
The so called "silent treatment", refusing to interact at all, is what  I aim at. I  don't rub against them. I don't purr. I move away if they try to pet me. I sleep on the spare be at night. If I have sufficient control, I refuse to eat in front of them, waiting to scoff it down during the early hours. And if a stranger visits, I smother the with affection in contrast to my cold distance towards my humans.
Believe me it works. They get ridiculously upset. Try it.
Yours 
George

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Rules for sharing the bed with humans....

Dear George,
 I have been wondering whether I have been spoiling my humans. I allow them to share the bed with me? Will this give them ideas above their station and make them think they are my equals?
If letting them sleep on my bed at night is a bad idea, what alternatives are there? The sofa? Or perhaps just the carpet in the living room?
Please advise,
Yours
Coco

Dear Coca,
This is a dilemma common to all cats. It's good to be generous to our humans and, to be realistic, they wouldn't fit into those odd little beds that they bought for us. So share the bed, but do so in the right way. 
Here are my rules for bed sharing with humans.
1. Get on to the bed first and choose the position which suits you. They can fit themselves round you. The middle of the bed is yours. The edges are theirs.
2. Insist that they sleep without moving. If you own a couple of humans, discourage any thought of human sex by walking up the bed, sitting firmly near their heads on the pillow, and staring at them with utter disdain.
3. Make sure they do not take up too much room. By gently but firmly leaning against them, you can imperceptibly move them to the edge of the bed without even waking them.
4. The bottom of the bed is yours on hot nights, when their bodies give out too much heat. Spread yourself over their toes, which will be withdrawn giving you more space.
5. The top of the bed is yours if you enjoy waking and petting your human. A strong purr and some careful grooming of their fur will ensure they give you enough space.
6. The space between two human bodies is yours during cold nights. Too bad if they want to cuddle: they should have thought of that before they got a cat.
Sleep well.
Yours
George

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Just a box - every cat should have one.

Dear George,
I found this box just under the window - an ideal place for a nap in the sunlight. A blissful morning. Then she, that human I call my pet, got rid of it. "I'll take that to the dump," I heard her say.
Why do humans do this? We all love boxes. They are not expensive. Yet humans buy us elaborate cat beds, when just a box would be better. 
How do I get the message across?
Yours Tilly.

Dear Tilly,
The only way to get through to them is to use the box as soon as they take anything out of it. So, if they order a box of wine, jump into the box as soon as the wine is taken out of it.
And make it clear what you think of these expensive cat beds or cat trees by using the box they came in and refusing to set a paw on the new item. If you do this often enough even the stupidest human may get the message... We Cats Demand Boxes.
Purrhaps we could start a campaign for rescue shelters with the slogan  "A box in every pen."

Yours
George.
PS. Kittens like them too - look here.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

SOS! Vet on the horizon! Going Incatnito!

Dear George,
I need urgently few suggestions on how to go incatnito! Yes, you heard me right: “in-cat-nito” in order to avoid getting to my scheduled visit to the vet. Like any other cat I purr-foundly detest these visits so I try to hide but my humans somehow manage to find me every time. So, for now I thought going incatnito around the house ….maybe something like a “faux cat” that look like a piece of décor? Or maybe I should go as a dog or bunny or something in disguise? Ugh! So much trouble but I do not want to go to the vet! That’s it! Please take a look at the photo attached and tell me if I look like a piece of décor!
Any other suggestions on how to avoid the trip to the vet are welcome!
Yours…..in disguise
Leo

Dear Leo,
This isn't good enough. You do not look like a pineapple. Nor are you a convincing china cat!  Far too elegant. Further in-cat-nito efforts are required. I recommend the following places to hide.
  • Under the bed. Humans do look there but if you squeeze further enough in at an odd angle they may miss you.
  • Under the cooker if there is a gap.
  • Between the washing machine and the drying machine in the utility room. You need a cap but not a big one.
  • On a chair, which has been pushed under a table. This is a simple place to hide that many humans miss.
  • Underneath the bedclothes. Better hope that your human doesn't sit on you by mistake.
  • Back of the wardrobe behind some large boots.
  • Top of the wardrobe - if your human has never seen you there before. Won't work if they already know you chill out there.
Yours
George

Saturday, March 04, 2017

Of cats training their human pets.... "cat paralysis"

-->Dear George,Last week letter and Tommy’s story inspired me to write this one from my own experience. If you remember about a year ago I was rescued from the streets by this couple with their clear intention to take me to a clinic and treat my many wounds (both physically and emotionally) and then to put me up for adoption. I saw them screening very carefully everybody manifesting a wish to take me in.
Of course in the process they fell in love with me and today I’m running their house! Even more, I didn’t need to train them through the “reward & punishment” cycle as they were quite well trained already but I started training them in what I would call “cat paralysis,” meaning I jump on one’s lap and that person can’t move until I get tired of sitting there so I leave….releasing them to freely move around! For whatever reason it didn’t work well with mummy (she can’t stay still – quite unnerving) but worked wonders with daddy (as you can see in the photo attached). What it’s very rewarding in fact is that I can get as many treats as I want and as often as I want. Why? Because they think they outsmart me and when daddy goes really numb from staying still he’s asking mummy to give me some treats hoping I’ll be tempted to jump down from his lap so he can move! The whole scenario makes me laugh my head off as I get everything I want this way…..being loved, cuddled up and eating treats!
Ah! I love my human pets! So, George what do you think? Maybe we should write a book about this special training program so other cats will benefit from it? With cheers & a good laugh  
Chico

Dear Chico, 
I am always keen to learn about tricks that can be taught to humans and about new techniques for doing this. "Cat paralysis" is a really good idea, not unlike the way humans teach dogs (poor idiots) to "stay." You seem to have cured that particularly irritating human behaviour of shifting around when we are sleeping on them.  Well, at least you have your male pet trained. Now start working on the female.
I wonder if you could transfer this technique to the bed. I suffer from the way my human, whom I generously allow to share the double bed with me, will thrash about in her sleep. I have to keep waking up and moving to get out of her way. If you find you can stop your male human moving around in the bed, please let me know urgently.
Yours
George. 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Valentine Cat.


Dear George, 
I will never understand why some people celebrate Valentine’s Day and some will not. It’s such a nice, romantic celebration….or am I wrong? Hmm! Guess, it’s more of a personal or cultural choice. Anyway, yesterday as I was waiting for my mommy to come home, I’ve read a little book entitled “The Valentine Cat” – very touchy, very romantic. 
It is the story of a little, black kitten with a white heart on its forehead. The kitty was abandoned in the woods by irresponsible, cruel people but after many “adventures” (some good and some scary) in the end the kitty got to live in the royal palace with the Princess and its rescuer, a young artist. I must admit… I had tears in my eyes reading the story but the happy ending made me feel very good and optimistic. 
I believe I am irremediably romantic. And I was thinking that we, the cats, could (and should) celebrate Valentine’s Day too! I mean probably not in the same way some humans celebrate it as we all are “fixed and snipped” but platonically involved in a nice dinner and meow-conversation. What do you think? George, I’ll be very bold now as I have to ask: would you be my Valentine? I set the table (as you can see in the photo) and we shall have fresh fish for dinner!
Romantically yours,  
Didina

Dear Didina,
Platonically? Yes, if time and space purrmitted, I would have been your Valentine. But they don't, which reminds me of the Andrew Marvell poem, the only mathematical love poem I know:
The Definition of Love.....
      As lines, so loves oblique may well
      Themselves in every angle greet;
      But ours so truly parallel,
     Though infinite, can never meet.
Purrsonally I think there are some humans that would benefit from the snip. It would make bedtime so much calmer for us - none of that irritating thrashing about which interferes with a cat's need for sleep. And no noisy human kittens pulling our tails. Why can't we just neuter them? Make Valentine's Day platonic for them as well as us.
Yours in a grump
George 

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Hello, 
My name is Teddy .. I am 3 years old and the most adorable long haired ginger male cat . I have a brother called Dolly he's very thin and unattractive (we are true brothers and came to live with our mum at the same time ) as soon as we arrived our human mother completely and utterly adored us .. Me probably more than dolly .. We were very spoiled well loved kittens .. Our human Mother's Day revolved around us... We had the best of everything. 
My problem is I cannot stand my human mother. She tries to pick me up and I push my paws into her to get her away . I stay out of the house as long as possible only popping in once a day for food , then I leave as quickly as I can. She always gets excited when she sees me. Because I am so very big fluffy and beautiful. I never want to spend time with her or in the house. Where as my skinny brother adores her and stays in the home all the time and even dribbles when he's on her lap! Yuck.. So my question is why do I hate her so much? Have you got any tips on how I can be like Dolly and love my human mother.
Yours perfectly 
Teddy-Bear

Dear Teddy,
Let's face it. Some of us just don't like our human pets. We have them because they are useful - for feeding us, providing warm beds (though they take up too much room), and a house for when it is bad weather. That's just how it is.
I wouldn't bother too much about your feelings. Remember, we are the superior species. Humans are lucky that we want to spend any time with them at all. But there are moments when it would be worth faking love - before feeding time and at night when it is cold and you want to sleep next to her for her warmth.
So try to fake a purr now and again. It could pay off. She will probably be so pathetically grateful for any attention, that more food will come your way.
And if she harasses you for a cuddle just give her a little nip.
Yours George
PS. Dolly can't help being a creep. It's just her genes. You've got the lone gene and she's got the snuggle gene.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Honeymoons are no fun for cats.


Dear George,
I’m not sure if there are official safety rules in place for cats’ transportation but, I definitely hope so since my Mom managed to cross a busy downtown street carrying me wrapped in a towel – Yes! against all odds - as you can see in the photo (I covered her face as I don’t want to get her in trouble – she’s still my Mom after all).
You see, this summer she got married and for this useless and meaningless event (at least in my life) she took off more than a week leaving me with my human grandparents. When she came back to take me home I was so mad at her that I peed in my carrier bag!
Last night I heard her saying she’ll go on a honeymoon! And now I don’t have a carrier bag anymore as she threw it away! But, George, firstly what is a honeymoon? I’ve heard of a full moon or new moon or, even a blue moon but never about a honey moon?
How far is this honey moon? Secondly, if she plans to take me with her this time is there any special equipment for a cat to travel to outer space? I hope she’ll not take me to her honey moon wrapped in a towel! What do you think George?
A bit worried
Stanley

Dear Stanley,
You are right to be worried about transport. It's not safe for a human to carry a cat like this. What if you just wriggled out of her arms and ran away.You might have got lost in the traffic, or even run over. She needs to get a secure cat carrier.
Honeymoons? Humans really are odd. Their mating habits are varied, ranging from pair bonding to one night stands (so called though this could only be literally achieved by medication!). As a species we do it better. Our female queens come on heat, go out in search of toms, mate furiously with several and have kittens a few weeks later usually from multiple fathers. That way we get the best chance of healthy kittens. If one of the toms isn't up to scratch (so to speak) and sires a weak kitten, there is always others in the litter that are strong.
Honeymoons? Part of the pair bonding ritual, once associated with the chance to have sex; nowadays just a nice holiday after an expensive ritual wedding. Don't go on the honeymoon. Heaving mattresses are no fun for cats that need a decent night's sleep.
Yours 
George.
PS. This blog is late due to the unforgivable absence of my secretary for most of the week.

Saturday, May 07, 2016

Born to be wild.... or perhaps not.

Dear George, 
Is this a valid statement or not so much? We were born of a feral cat but in a human house! Does that make us wild? We are five kitten - seven week old now - and quite social. We are ready for adoption (if anybody is interested). Our mother, who actually let this nice, generous human touch her, is getting to the clinic to be spayed. We heard our “temporary” human mother saying that she won’t release our feral mother back to the wild since she’s quite used to human touch now. But, what about us?
Are we going to be OK? One of the "girls' in the gang is getting used to catnip toys as you can see in the first photo.
Any wise advice George?
In a very playful mood,
The Three Musketeers (out of five)

Dear Kittens,
You are getting the best education you could have for a happy future  - warm shelter,  regular meals, soft beds, and attentive human servants. Train them using rewards (purrs, rubs, and the opportunity to stroke you) and punishments (hisses, ignoring them, and if necessary swipe and bite).
Start as you mean to go on. An intelligent kitten will have trained his human within the first four weeks to feed the correct food, change the litter tray regularly, and play enjoyable games with him. And all this without the human knowing that she has been trained.
Don't be too selfish. Allow them to share the bed with you. They make good hot water bottles.
Love 
George.
 





Saturday, January 09, 2016

Waiting for George’s message…..a miracle happened!


Dear George,
You might recall that I had to (I was forced to) move in with three other cats just because my human decided to move in with someone. And, of course, my silly human couldn’t find a single, lonely and boring person; my human had to find another human who had not one but three cats! We asked ourselves many times “What is wrong with humans?” and my guess is that we’ll never find out! I wasn’t too happy about the situation but we, the cats, found ourselves each a favorite spot in the house and tried not to interact with each other too much! My favorite spot is the bed in the master bedroom where I’m trying hard “to push out” the intruder (I mean…the other human who now claims my human). However, a miracle happened George! Waiting for your Christmas message we found ourselves lying down together peacefully and happily (as you can see in the picture)! For one thing George I’m happy that Celia failed in her duties to you this time.
Now I need your advice on how to keep the momentum going?
Yours truly,
Vegas

Dear Vegas,
The failure of my Christmas message (due to human incompetence and a dead router) had one good effect then! What a happy and relaxed scene. Moving in with other cats can be so stressful, particularly if for cats that are natural loners. But you four felines seem to have integrated well. Just make sure that the new cats don't move in with you. Four is enough, I feel. 
Keep the momentum going by natural feline courtesy. Accept the fact that some cats do not want intimacy and would prefer agreeable acquaintanceship rather than close friendship. Make sure your human servants don't force you to eat from the same food bowl. If they do, it should always be full so that you can take it in turns. Better still, they should feed you at a decent cat-preferred distance from each other. Humans can be mean about litter trays. Four or even five litter trays, so that you don't have to share and they don't get dirty too quickly, would be ideal. We like litter that is generously two and a half inches deep!
I have had a quiet time since the end of the Christmas holiday. She, my pet, has been hunched over the computer studying for her exam. She has also asked me to point out that one of her ebooks (co-researched by me but without any acknowledgement of my part in it, shame on her) is available FREE from Monday January 11 on UK amazon here. She is not sure if it will be available in other countries!
Yours
George.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

The power of a purrrrrrrrrr......

Dear George,
I have been a bit worried about my mummy.
She doesn't seem to be quite herself and seems to have to leave me more often at different times.
Still, at least, food appears regularly and she combs me and plays with me sometimes when I don't even want to!
I try to behave and come on her bed every night and she still gets up if I desperately need attention at 5am, so nothing really has changed, but I do worry if her routine changes.
What do you think carry on as usual, and hope she seems more like her old self in the New Year. We pussycats don't like change!!!.
With love from,
Toby.


Dear Toby,
My friend, Tilly the Ugliest Cat, went through a somewhat similar experience with Celia. Horrible routine changes and she could tell that Celia was worried and upset. Celia would disappear then come home smelling as if she had been in a vet clinic.
Try to see this as an opportunity for snuggling close to your human, particularly if she is taking a lot of rest (which she should be). She may smell a bit odd but she is basically the same loving pet as she always was. We cats are great healers and this is your chance to practice purr therapy. There is nothing like it to make your human pet feel calmer and less frightened.
She will recover, when the veterinary treatment is over, and the normal routine will back. So practice that healing purr. Purring heals.
Yours
George.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

My bed is not for.... sharing

Dear George,
I don’t think there is a cat that likes to share her bed and I’m no exception! Just that my case is much more sensible….and here is why! My mummy got a boyfriend!
Yes! All is good as we know humans like to keep each other company and I don’t want to get into more “details” here but, my problem is why do I have to share my bed with him? Sharing is not exactly the case as he took over my half of the bed. That’s totally, completely and absolutely unacceptable! When I visit him at the cottage (I must admit he has a beautiful cottage) I bring my own food, my own water and my own bed!
So, why can’t he bring his own sleeping bag? Excuse me? I’m not asking him to bring his own food….I don’t mind to share my food with him! Nor do I ask him to bring his own water (maybe he should as it might be a bit difficult for him to drink from my water fountain). But….a sleeping bag? George, do you think by buying a sleeping bag for my mummy would solve the problem? There is plenty of floor space that they can share.
I want my bed (at least half) back!
Shumba

Dear Shumba,  
You have put your paw on a Major Human Dilemma. We cats are generous. We share the bed with our human, even though a human takes up a lot of space. (Mind you, they do act as hot water bottles for us too). But when a stranger intrudes, there is less space. Worst still, there may be undercover activities of a kind not compatible with feline rest and relaxation.....
What advice can I give? Euthanasia is out of the question, alas. It would be just too difficult. Rehoming him would be the best thing to do but where would you find another human to adopt him? You could try to show your disgust by never approaching him, sitting with your back to him, and refusing all his attempts to be nice. But your human seems to have bonded with him so she might completely refuse to rehome him. 
So you are going to have to accept his presence. The sleeping bag idea is not going to work. But not all is lost. You can reduce the undercover activities by a) sleeping between the two humans: b) showing an intense and embarassing interest in their activities: c) purporting to believe that this is just a game and jumping wildly on the body parts below the covers. Aim for the groin whenever possible.
Yes, I know that this may result in your being evicted from the bedroom. In which case you yowl and scratch the door throughout the night.
Best of luck,
George.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org