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Saturday, January 12, 2019

Thank goodness the season of good will is over...

Dear George,
I’m so happy that the holidays are over and the visitors gone to their homes, no more loud music or noise from human non-sense talking! Oh boy! I love being back to old habits and routine! Yes, I know I sound “grumpy” but when your home is invaded by adults, teenagers, grandkids and small dogs for over a week …how could anybody be happy? 
I got tired of hiding from grandkids and barking dogs! I’ve got tired of missing meals because of the noise in the house! I did not feel safe in my own home! I really think “something’s gotta give”. I think my human now realizes that she was wrong inviting them over! But, she can’t turn the time back! And, I’m not ready to forgive her yet! How do I know she feels guilty? She’s being extra nice with me, she’s doing that stupid “baby talk”, she even pretended she “forgot” the treats pouch open on the table. Phew! 
But, no, I want more severe punishments for her so next year she’ll remember before she’ll extend any invitation! George, any ideas of harsh punishment?
Yours,
Mouse

Dear Mouse, 
Christmas is hell for most cats. As you say, your home is invaded by strange humans, some of them young enough to be really intolerable, and sometimes even by dogs. No wonder you hated it. I think most of us do. And the occasional bit of turkey meat isn't enough to compensate for the upset of our routines.
There are ways we can punish our humans, while Christmas is going on. I favour peeing on the Christmas tree, as a start. Then tearing down as many tree decorations as possible. Some cats even climb the tree in order to pull it down. If we are lucky, our humans then banish us from the living room, where most of the strangers are seated. Worth a try, anyway.
Strangers? Well, obviously, we do not let them pick us up. We discipline them with a sharp nip whenever possible. A nip may be required to stop any silly business with Santa hats (see the undignified photo of Percy here).
And the humans that insist on petting us and making silly baby talk, we just ignore or run away from behind the sofa. Purrsonally, I take up residence on the bed I share with my human and stay there most of Christmas. I'd use the spare room bed but that is occupied with human strangers. 
So can we stop it entirely? I don't think we can. Thank goodness Christmas only comes once a year. 
Yours 
George

6 comments:

  1. Sorry Christmas is such an upset, at the risk of getting nipped - I think Percy looks darling in his Santa hat! MOL!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally agree with Catscue Cats! Percy looks lovely in his Santa gear :-)
    Shumba

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ney, it's not that bad in my house...and I LOVE roasted turkey!
    Lenny

    ReplyDelete
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Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org