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Saturday, June 20, 2015

The difference between purring and…..snoring!


Dear George,

As an expert in human behaviour I’m certain you’ll be able to explain the difference between purring and snoring. Why cats purr but humans snore? I heard humans saying many times that our purrs calm them, make them feel happy! Well, I can’t say that humans snore have same effect on anybody. My mommy doesn’t snore but definitely she doesn’t purr either. I’m trying to teach her (click the link) but she simply doesn’t get it! The noises she makes make me laugh! How do I teach my human properly purring?

With loud purrs

Sophie

Dear Sophie,
What a great purr.  If anybody can teach a human to purr, it will be you. They will want to imitate you when they hear it.
I don't think it will work, however. Humans just can't make that noise. Lions can. Tigers can. Cats can. But poor humans cannot.  
Eat your heart out, you humans.
Yours
George.
PS. I am putting the video of you purring here, but the sound doesn't seem to work. Cats will have to imagine a HUGE purr.  If any cats know why the video is silent please tell me.  I don't have purrmission to upload it to YouTube and put a link.
 PPS. There will be no blog next Saturday. I shall be imprisoned in a cattery while my human enjoys herself. Must remember to bite cattery owner. 

Friday, June 12, 2015

Portrait of a Felix as a cat with eyes - in paper filigree.


Hi George
My female human decorates cards with her own unique designs which includes quilling designs and others mostly as a hobby, she does sell some at craft fairs and on line. She decided to quill me and give me EYES. She is quite pleased with her first attempt at a Pet Portrait and might take it up and see how it goes.
If I am in the mood for ear tickles and a game I don't like her going out and leaving me alone.  If I'm not in the mood and want to sleep she can stay out until I get hungry.
She thought you would like to see the picture of me with EYES.
Best Wishes
 Feely Felix

Dear Feely Felix,
Just to make a good comparison, I have added a photo taken of you all those years ago when you were at Wrexham Cats Protection, before you adopted your human, Janice.  This way the cats reading this blog can compare you with your quilled portrait. I must say I think it is a good likeness.
I have always said that a pet human should have a hobby. Not a full time one, but something that the pet can find to do after it has finished its duties towards its feline owner or owners. We don't want them to become too dependant on us for all amusement. 
It never fails to surprise me how intelligent these pets are. Janice is a bit of a treasure.
Yours
George

Saturday, June 06, 2015

Hide and seek - but not in the washing machine.


Dear George,
My name is Kitty-Kitty-Puss-Puss and, of course I’m a rescue! My name? Ya, I know what you are thinking but I can assure you my human is quite normal!
Or I think she is! Or….maybe not? Actually….I’m writing to you seeking advice on a human behavioural pattern. You see, I’m an indoor cat and being young I easily get bored. I’m very playful so I’m quite creative. Of all games I most enjoy “hide & seek” but my human doesn’t get it. Each time I hide (as you can see in the picture attached) she panics and start frantically looking for me, calling my name and quite often starts making some very strange noises like she’s trying to speak “cat language” at a high pitch strange “meowing”. I would laugh out loud if laughing won’t give away my hiding place. All is good and fun until she suddenly becomes upset and starts crying implying that I intentionally upset her.
George, I know she means well and I love her very much but how do I tell her that all I want is playing with her?
Confused
Kitty-Kitty-Puss-Puss

Dear Kitty-Kitty-Puss-Puss,
If you are an indoor cat, it is an important part of your pet human's duties to play with you.  She should spent as much time as possible seeing to your recreational needs - fishing rod toys, throwing little balls of paper, chasing you (if you are the kind of cat that enjoys being chased), and so forth. 
Some humans use lazer light toys, but these can be addictive and frustrating to some cats. Personally I find them boring. Another idea is for your human to hide food so that you have to find it.
Hiding? Yes, it is fun for us. And it is particularly good fun to watch our humans wandering round the house calling and getting all wound up. Naturally if I ever hear the "vet" word, I go missing immediately and it is easy to fool my human. I emerge when I hear her on the phone cancelling the appointment admitting"He's gone missing."
But a word of warning. Hiding inside the washing machine is dangerous. Of course, your human should never leave the washing machine open if you are likely to go inside. But humans are irresponsible and forgetful animals.  So don't climb inside, just in case there is an accident. Just occasionally, rarely, a human will bung in the clothes without looking properly and a cat gets trapped in the washing cycle.
Yours helpfully,
George.
PS. There's some useful ideas on playing with indoor cats here.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org