Saturday, August 22, 2015

Keeping time - feline time, not human time.

Dear George,
We are the ultimate Time Keepers as you can see in the photo attached.
Marty is the keeper of the “Sleeping Time” and I, Vegas, am the keeper of the “Feeding Time”. However, our humans seem to function in a different time zone. They try to introduce to us a “working time” (whatever is that), a “work-out time” (such a joke – we look at them in amazement when they act like hamsters running on a wheel they call treadmill) and something they call “socializing time” (when they eat and drink and make loud noises). Why? Why do they try to make life complicated? Why can’t they function on our time? George, how do we train them?
From Sleeping and Eating zone time
Marty and Vegas

Dear Marty and Vegas,
Many cats manage to re-educate their humans into feline time but it does take a great deal of time, effort and purrsistence. Easiest place to start is the awful socialising time.
 If a supper party has gone on too long, I walk into the room and start miaowing.  If they are round the table I jump on to the table and try to eat any food that may be there. Or turn and put my bottom in the nearest human face - this rarely fails to create a sensation. It always embarasses Celia, who has to get up from her chair and remove me.

If they are lingering in the living room, drinking too much of that liquid catnip which they use, I can't use the same tactics. Instead, I look round the human that seems uneasy with my presence, who may not like cats, and I leap on to her lap, rubbing against her and purring loudly. Alternatively look for the human who is slightly allergic to cat fur - signs are a very red face and lots of sneezing or wheezing. Do the same to them.
You can also decide to rub on the glasses, thus upsetting them and pouring liquid everywhere. If this is the red catnip liquor, it will make a big stain on the furniture and carpet. Celia then has to rush off and start trying to clean it up. Result - supper party interrupted. Guests think of leaving.
Have a go.
Love George.

1 comment:

  1. Love your time zone guys! Love George's advice as well.
    Shumba

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org