Friday, May 22, 2015

Deepak Chopra .... of cats!


Dear George,
Reading past letters I realized that kittydom is a buzz! It is such a joy to see cats becoming entrepreneurs, opening up businesses, taking vocational training or simply….improving their body, mind and spirit by taking up Tai Chi, Qi Gong or Zen meditation! We do really rule the world and, I can see why….the future is ours! I had my “aha” moment when I took up yoga! I even developed an important and, in my humble opinion, revolutionary asana called “Cat Slipping” as you can see in the photo attached! One can practice this pose throughout the day, anywhere and everywhere! My preferred location? Master bedroom! 
Favorite spot? For me…. my “daddy’s” side of the bed! Time? Especially when he’s ready to go to sleep! Timing is important and mine is just perfect! Benefits from practicing it? One is more relaxed, but mind sharper, one will look younger in minutes and above all…seeing your human’s perplexed face not knowing what to do! This is priceless! You don’t push Deepak Chopra off his chair, do you?
But, my daddy dared to push me aside last night and I’m much infuriated.
I’m taking three deep breaths now and start working on a plan how to relocate him on a couch in the living room or even better….down in the basement!
George, any suggestions?
Namaste
Lenny

Dear Lenny,
Pushing you off the chair is unacceptable behaviour in a human. No wonder you are infuriated. You need to climb back immediately and start re-inserting yourself on the chair slowly edging him off. If this doesn't work, get on the back of the armchair and start forcible grooming of his head. If he has a bald patch, groom this furiously. If not, rearrange his hair with tongue and claw. This often makes a human leave.
Forcing a human off your bed is going too far. I think he would be lonely on the downstairs couch or in the basement. Human welfare matters. Well behaved humans should be allowed to share the bed with us, as long as they don't take up too much space. Grooming them in the early hours or merely slowly moving them into a better position using your asana while they are asleep effectively repositions the human body.
Namaste
George.

5 comments:

  1. Excellent advice George! Yes, start grooming his head (bold or not) especially when he's busy working (at the computer). He'll be happy to moving in the basement :-)
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lenny, I love your letter! I think taking up yoga helps anyone to get smarter!
    I love your brilliant asana - I'll start practicing it right away!
    Namaste
    Shumba

    ReplyDelete
  3. Carla, the tuxedo catMay 27, 2015

    Lovely! Absolutely lovely!
    Guess....I'll take up yoga :-)
    Carla, the tuxedo cat

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lenny, forget yoga....take up martial arts! You need to teach your daddy a lesson!
    Hugs
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow, that is great work, fantastic work, Adopt a dog

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org