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Saturday, March 21, 2015

March break and.....humans

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Dear George,
I learned about your blog from a backyard friend and I'm quite happy I did as now...I found the right place to ask for advice and to complain about my human. But, first - can anybody explain to me what March break is? I know the schools are closed for a week or so and I assume it is because kids are behaving badly and teachers need a break to recover mentally and physically! I also assume that teachers can't hide under the bed or desk when the kids are around! I got that too. But why would humans pack and go away for March break when they don't even have kids? That's what I'd like to know George? Why my mommy went away leaving me behind stuck indoor and having a catsitter to look after me? Plus, she got me a deaf and possibly blind one. I'm pretty sure this was the case since all my efforts to get outside went unnoticed. No reaction to my meows or scratches at the back door. What mommy would leave her kid with a deaf and blind sitter?  Do you think I behave so badly that she needed a break? I don't think so! And I want revenge!
Yours....quite upset
Mouse
PS. my name is another story altogether ....for another letter

Dear Mouse,  
Your mommy has failed in her duty - which is to make herself available for you all the time, any time, day, night, weekend, weekday, summer, winter and spring (March included). To put it bluntly, she is not a good servant. You need to put some time and effort into training her better so that she knows her place in the household. 
As for the deaf, blind cat sitter. This beggars belief! If the cat sitter is still with you, then I suggest you leave a highly visible faecal message (a poop) on her pillow.  If she is in the bed at the time so much the better.  If she has already left, do the same for your mommy.
The amusing thing about this is that a cat behaviourist will tell her, you are pooping on the bed because you were upset about being left. Well, I guess that is true. But you will be having your revenge as well.
And, as every cat knows, revenge is a dish best eaten warm.
Yours 
George. 
PS. That carpet suits you. 

6 comments:

  1. I see what George means about the carpet!

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  2. Jimny2, I don't get it! What George meant about the carpet?
    Can either you or George clarify? I'd like to understand.
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  3. George, my friend ...wow! you have been unusual tough! Did Mouse' letter hit a chord home?
    Not that I didn't like the idea (of your revenge) :-)
    Diego

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  4. Ha! Ha! If George would follow his own advice....Celia' d have been sleeping in a bed of poop by now :-)
    Mouse, you got it right! Humans are highly and unreasonably emotional beings. They go away thinking that changing scenery will change their perception of their imaginary exhaustion and thus they fail in their duty to us!
    Guess you have to put some time and effort in retraining your Mama!
    Fluffy

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  5. Carla, the tuxedo catMarch 23, 2015

    I love your name, Mouse!
    Carla, the tuxedo cat

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org