Friday, March 14, 2014

Whiskers - size matters.

Dear George,
If you look at my photo, you will see that I now have magnificent whiskers. They are about 6 inches long and white, apart from two little ones furthest from my mouth which are darker.
I am particularly proud of them because I used to be whisker-challenged when I lived as a street cat. I had whiskers, of course. But they were small and not at all attractive.
Now I consider these big ones one of my most attractive features.Their size is wonderful but I also like the discreet way they are white rather than ginger. This gentle contrast suits me. It is not as blatant as the white whiskers on a black and white cat or black whiskers on a black whiskerpad like yours. Personally I consider those just a little bit vulgar.
Mine are long, white and (I think) a sign that I have put my past behind me and have taken my place among gentlecats.
Yours proudly
Toby.

Dear Toby,
 What on earth is wrong with white whiskers on a black and white cat? Or black whiskers on a black cat like me? Your cattitude smacks of social climbing. I can only remind you that while you can take the cat off the street, you can't take the street out of the cat.
Who is the cat that steals food out of the bread bin and even out of the food recycling bin? Which cat is it, that will shamelessly eat crumbs put out for the birds? And has even been spotted eating a stolen cold potato? I have never been a thief.
I take particular offence at your prejudiced remarks about black whiskers. My whiskers may not be as long as yours, but I came from a privileged background, a private boarding pen not far from Witney, where I was brought up by a human Nanny. No question in my case of living on the street.
We cats, who came from a correct social background, do not make unhelpful comparisons of whisker size or whisker colour. Personal remarks like this are not the mark of a true gentlecat.
Yours in disgust.
George

5 comments:

  1. CAT VictoriaMarch 15, 2014

    George, are you stressed out? You are really tough on Toby and I never expected this. Aren't you too sensitive when it comes to whiskers?
    CAT Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful whiskers Toby! I'm ginger too and ....but right now I can't find a mirror in the house to check if they are black or white.
    Hugs
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  3. What bigger pleasure than stealing people's food?
    George, don't become such an "aristo-cat"
    Toby you definitely are on the right path, man!
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do I sense envy or just grumpiness in you George? You can't possible be jealous since you always have been Celia's big love...so, I assume is just being grumpy. Did Celia take off again and let you do her work?
    Love & hugs
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Long, long whiskers and cross-eyes? Magnificent!
    Love you Toby!
    Thea

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org