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Saturday, November 02, 2013

The cat in the bag. Catnip shock horror for humans.

Dear George,
The other day I started tidying up my place (in case Puss-Puss will move over - see her comments here) and I came across old toys, almost forgotten - all stuffed with good stuff like catnip, catmint, honeysuckle, etc. I was enjoying them again when my mummy came home unexpectedly. She startled me so I jumped in a bag! When she saw my look (as in the photo) she seemed rather amused and said something like: “Aha! The cat is in the bag”!
Hearing her….I just passed out….. for about 10 minutes!
That’s when the trouble started: she panicked. I could hear her (like in a dream) calling daddy and saying “Come home, Fluffy got stoned!” I mean …what mother would say that? A bit later I was quite fine but she was angry by then and I didn’t understand why! She said something like “you are in trouble missy”. I mean…what kind of trouble? 
None of these fine plants are illegal, are they? So, what did I do wrong?
Worse to come….I can say … I got high …..legally, right?
I wonder how come they know about “these things” since they live such a boring and plain, simple life? George, can you explain what happened?
Quite puzzled
Fluffy

Dear Fluffy,
Humans are so puritanical. What's wrong with catnip and catmint? We cats do recreational drugs without any difficulty. It's only humans that go too far and either lie around for hours giggling or sway about from too much alcohol, a drug which incidentally is very bad for cats.
We can control getting high: they can't. That's why they go mental if we do a little drug use. I enjoy sniffing not just catnip but also pears and nail varnish, and I've been told that the kolomite vine, bogbeans and valerian (kind of drowsy) give a mild legal high. This is substance use, not substance abuse - though if humans start interfering and put this stuff in our food we might overdose.
So leave it to us, you interfering humans. We know what we like. We know how much we can take. We can walk away from it after a few delightful minutes. You can't. You are vulnerable to substance abuse and drunkenness. If we are left alone to choose our own highs, we aren't.
So tell your humans not to panic, not to interfere and not to spike our food with anything. Yes, Fluffy, I know your humans would never do the latter but there are irresponsible drug user humans who have tried to give their cats alcohol, pot or even heroin - disgusting behaviour. 
But what can you expect from such an inferior species?
George.

11 comments:

  1. Right on Fluffy! I just read about a cat somewhere in Moldova (?) trained to smuggle drugs in a prison! You go girl!
    Diego

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  2. I personally found valerian being "very tempting"! Too bad that my human thinks it smells like stinking socks :-(
    I think it smells more like mice!
    Shumba

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  3. CAT VictoriaNovember 02, 2013

    My neighbour's honeysuckle is "heaven" :-) but my humans don't even know why I'm visiting our neighbor. Fluffy, it's better to keep "certain things" to ourselves and not sharing everything with our humans!
    Love
    CAT Victoria

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  4. Oh! I got some toys filled with silver vine! Divine!
    I think they came from either China or USA.
    Just try it....anything with silver vine :-)
    Thea

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  5. Like Shumba....I like valerian root!
    Too bad people find its smell offensive! Catnip and catmint...yes, plenty in my garden.
    Minnie

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  6. There's nothin' wrong with enjoyin' a little of the nip. NOTHIN' wrong with that at all!

    Purrs,
    Nissy

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  7. Our human doesn't mind us having a little catnip but not too much in case we do the spacey eyed psycho her last cat did when she got near it.

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  8. Fluffy, you carry on enjoying your herbal hits, listen to George and ignore the apes.

    I love the smell of Valerian and nip. I haven't tried honeysuckle, but the ape told me about a plant from Japan. It's called Watanabi and Japanese cats get their rocks off on it big time!

    Love Mungo

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  9. Mungo, you are a treasure! Always! Never heard of Watanabi but I have to push my puritan apes to search it. Wonder if it's good for them too. Maybe they will loosen up a bit? :-)))
    Love
    Fluffy

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  10. CAT VictoriaNovember 11, 2013

    Hmmmmm! I heard of Wasabi - it's a Japanese horseradish - wonder if its leaves would do it? Watanabe is a very common name in Japan something like Smith here.
    Mungo, maybe your apes can help a bit more in describing it? It will be in our best interest :-)
    CAT Victoria

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