Saturday, November 23, 2013

Don't believe everything a human does.

Dear George,
I have just seen a human friend looking at a book entitled Tilly - the ugliest cat in the shelter. My eyes went very wide in horror. Who dreamt (nightmared) up this title?
There is no such thing as an ugly cat, although I do concur that those poor catty souls bred without fur by loathsome humans may qualify.  Cats on a scale of 1 to 100 are mostly 100, with a few coming in at a 94. That's it!
The kitten Tilly on the cover is a nice, smart, lovely mixture of patchwork colours. I did however see on the back of this book pictures that purported to be a grown-up Tilly which looked rather strange as this cat was long-haired. And some of the colour patches had swapped places.
And I heard the human reader muttering something about "bad production" and "brainless editors" because the "Tilly" on the cover has medium blue eyes while the grown-up "Tilly" has pale yellow eyes!
These two are not the same cat! Who designed this book? Who approved the proofs? Are they still taking money under the false pretence of doing a good accurate and truthful job? I think we shuld be told in the name of good journalism (current on-going trial of some occupants of The Street of Shame excepted).
Is this the world I have to live in?
Love to all nice people.
From Breezey (age 15 weeks).


Dear Breezey,
Humans are strange creatures with a lower nature than ours. Of course there are no ugly cats. Never have been. Never will be - despite the internet craze for a so called grumpy cat. We are graceful, elegant, beautiful creatures from birth to death. Unlike humans.
Yes, the photo is a lookalike not the real Tilly. You can see from these photos. Shocking duplicity! But we have to remember that humans cannot think like we do. They are without any moral sense (or any common sense) whatsoever.  
I am told that the publishers said that photos of the real Tilly were either "too pretty" or "too ugly." Some humans are never satisfied. But the story is true and Tilly's real photo is on the inside cover. 
Yours 
George.
PS You have a delightful nose.
PPS. See channel 4 at 20.00 this Saturday for documentary about our Wiltshire Walking World

5 comments:

  1. Hi George, humans can be very dumb sometimes and fail to understand how glorious cats of all colours and markings are. No cat is ever ugly and thank you for pointing this out.

    It's funny as last week on of my colleagues who is pregnant for the first time said she wondered if she had an ugly baby would she be able to tell as all mothers love their babies...!

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  2. Breezey, we got the book "hot & fresh" as it just became available in bookstores. First, I and my late sister were quite upset with the title and thought- Ha! another of Celia's mischief - as she often stole George's ideas and books and signed her name on them. Anyway, we were watching our mummy reading it and seeing her in tears sometimes reading we (me and my sister) took the chance to read the book.
    Breezey, the book is an excellent memoir. A celebration of Celia's life and for once she admitted that cats saved her life and sanity. I don't want to say more but I can tell you one thing: the book makes for a beautiful reading or/and a beautiful Christmas gift!
    Love
    Fluffy

    PS. Did I tell you that you are beautiful?

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  3. Who cares who's on the cover?
    We, cats, are all beautiful!
    I didn't read the book yet since my humans are slow readers - the female pet read it first and now it is in the claws of my male pet!
    I heart it's very good! Very funny!
    Diego

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  4. Breezey, you are so beautiful! And so is Tilly! And so are all cats! You are too young to know better but don't let yourself fooled by humans! Train them well and you'll see the difference! Today, my mom got the Tilly book :-)
    I'm looking ahead to long winter's nights reading the book with my mom (she'll read and I'll cuddle beside her and listen)!
    Thea

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  5. I liked the book - I read it with my mommy (actually I got more treats than ever reading the book - very touchy and nice):-)
    So, it doesn't matter who did the cover! Humans! Who else?
    Breezey you have beautiful eyes and a beautiful nose and pointed beautiful ears! And Tilly? All Tillies are beautiful no matter what color are the eyes!
    Minnie

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Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org