Follow by Email

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Difficulties with household staff - litter tray training

Dear George,
You know my humans, Merrie and Robin so I am writing to you for advice.  With the very cold winter they provided me with an indoor lavatory in the garage and at night moved it into the kitchen as I sleep in the breakfast room. They won't allow me on their bed any more as they say I fidget and wake them up.  When it got warmer and I was able to come and go more easily and visit my house next door without being carried because it was cold, snowy or wet, they had the cheek to remove the tray at night from the kitchen.  They thought as I was peeing in the garden again, Robin didn't want the bother of carting the tray from the garage into the kitchen.  Naturally I piddle in one corner when I wake up in the night or morning.  Why should I go out through the cat flap in the early morning when I am nearly nineteen years?  The staff have no consideration. They are putting disinfectant down  but I am continuing. 
Yours in disgust at human failings,

Dear Lily,
We all have problems with staff. Incompetence and lack of intelligence are common human failings. There are so many human idiocies here, that I hardly know where to start.
First, the litter tray.You are an elderly cat and like other oldies (human as well as feline) you need to be able to get to the loo in time.  You should not have to struggle out in the frost in winter and the rain in the so-called British summer. So, you need a loo indoors in the warm - not too close to the food bowl. Do they have a utility room or  downstairs human lavatory that would be suitable?
Secondly... the disinfectant. Your staff are obviously totally untrained in proper cleaning. I love the smell of disinfectant and I expect you do too. Stupid humans who are smell blind think disinfectant smells of lemon or some other scent. We know that it smells of cat pee. So naturally, we pee on top of it. "Cleaning" cat pee with disinfectant is like putting up a notice "Pee here" for us cats. Tell your human to contact Celia's website on how to clean up.
In general, Lily, I wonder if your humans need more training. Human intelligence is severely limited and household staff really can't cope unless they are properly trained. Put more effort into this. 
Yours George
PS. Reclaim your bed. If you fidget, they can always sleep downstairs on the sofa or in the spare room. What is the world coming to when humans think they can take over our beds.


  1. Poor Lily, your apes need a bit of a boot camp experience in providing a proper level of service to you. As a senior cat you should have a few litter boxes around the house so you don't have to suffer the cold, wet outdoors thing.

    Also some disinfectants are deadly to cats, especially the phenolic based ones that smell of "pine" So those need to be dumped.

    Take over their ape bed too. Senior cats rule the house, this is the default setting for the home hierarchy.

    Remember the ape bed is YOURS and they only use it with YOUR permission.

    Hope things improve for you Lily!

    Gerry & Mungo

  2. Disgusting! Your humans are disgusting; I'm sorry if I upset you but they show no respect to you, Lily! So sad that you are too old to rehome!

  3. Dear Lily, it is disturbing to read your letter and think that your humans either don't realize what they do or they are too old themselves to notice or care.
    When my sister was sick...our house was all "carpeted" in pee-pee pads to avoid accidents but, in the same time giving her comfort, freedom and ease in moving around.
    They should be retrained.

  4. live with them for 19 years? Shame on them! Re-home! I'm sure you find some fine humans who wouldn't care about your age but would love to give you the best of comfort!

  5. FredericoJuly 01, 2013

    Phew on your humans! Re-home.


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online