Cat beds - our ideas of what makes a good one.

Dear George,

I don’t want to take too much of your time but I have one question or maybe two.  You know that I’m a very spoiled kitty. However, I trained my humans surprisingly well for a young, little rescue that I’m.  For example: they let me taste the water they drink (directly from their glasses), food they eat and when they are playing cards …..I have a special chair so I can sit and watch them playing. When it comes to sleeping arrangements….I usually sleep on my mommy’s chest until she’s sound at sleep and then …..I slide down slowly between them. Well, lately they gifted me with so many cat beds (as in the photos) that I don’t know what to think. I have a bed in every single room of the house including kitchen. As I find this a bit strange, my question to you is: what could they be up to that they do not want me in the bed between them at night or are they trying to show me with respect that I’m the Alpha cat and run the show? Should I accommodate?

Yours truly but ….a bit confused

Zoe

Dear Zoe, 
Your humans are doing the right thing. We cats cannot have too many beds - their idea of beds and our idea of beds. Their idea of a cat bed is like the one in the photo. Warm cosy, with nice soft material and high sides so that it avoids drafts. But your dratted humans, I see, have put it on the floor. The ideal cat bed is sited a bit higher up. We like to look down rather than up at our pet humans.
Our idea of cat beds is, of course, rather more diverse than theirs. The following are cat beds: the double beds which we allow our humans to share; any other large beds in the house; sofas; armchairs; piles of dirty laundry; piles of clean laundry, preferably in a warm airing cupboard; any open drawer full of clothes; the surface of any chair pushed under the table; the surface of any chair anywhere; all windowsills; inside any cupboard where the doors are left open; the top of a kitchen cupboard if we feel like it; the top of the wardrobe if we feel like it; the side of an Aga or any wood burning stove; any kitchen surface that takes our fancy; in front of open fires; empty cardboard boxes of all kinds; the desk area next to the computer; the keyboard of the computer when we feel like it; the top of the stairs... You get the idea.
What your humans think they are doing is a bit more puzzling, as we have to allow for their limited cognition. My guess is that they might feel they would like more room on your double bed at night so have put a cat bed in the bedroom. This is ridiculous, of course. If you are kind enough to share your double bed with them, they must take the space they are given and be grateful for it. Do not accomodate them: it is their duty to accomodate you and your preferences.
The alternative possibility is that they really have understood that we like a lot of choice. If so they are pets in a million.
Yours thoughtfully
George
PS. Add your own suggestions....