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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Am I psychologically damaged?

Hello George,
My name is Jake, Shakey Jake and a girl – don’t ask; that’s another story. My slave keeps suggesting I’m ‘damaged’. Me? You should see some of the things she gets up to! Anyway I am concerned she may be right but to understand why I think this you need to understand where I have come from. This is me at about four weeks old. ‘Where is your mother?’ I hear you ask; well I’d like to know that too! I was found in a metal fright container by a man; my slave calls him ‘dad’. I went to the vets who believed I was about 2 days old. I had fleas and a flea allergy to boot, this left me with no fur. 
This is me as a kitten
When the aforementioned ‘dad’ opened the box slave asked ‘what the hell is that?’ but I was asking myself the very same questions. I forgave her this indiscretion when she woke up every two hours to feed and help me do my business. She treated my fleas and when I went back to the vets 2 days later he thought I was doing well – naturally. The vet then made the suggestion they sneak me in with dad’s dog that had just had puppies. Sneak me in? Like that would work, but alas it did!
When I was 5 weeks me and the slave moved. I like to think this was all for me but apparently it was planned. So I left the dog and the brute, Rufus (big feral ginger tom – you know the type), it was just me and the slave. She’s a reasonably good slave. I have a good vocal range with an impressive volume which is hard to ignore and have mastered the art of knocking things off surfaces to get her attention.  I have a pillow and she knows it, if she tries to sleep on it I sleep on her, she soon moves! 
Now this brings me back to my concern. I have a habit or more of a compulsion. I still like to suckle, suckle my slave to be precise. She wears a fab purple fleece dressing at times which is great but failing that I will suckle her nose, collar bone, I don’t even mind a toe. Everyone thought I would grow out of this but I’m three now and still love it – I just can’t help it!
Jake x

Dear Jake,
I have to admit that needing to suckle your human's dressing gown or body parts can be classified as a little eccentric. But really it's quite natural. It's a kitten thing. Your human brought you up, fed you, cleaned you, and generally acted as your mother. So she is your mother. 
But.... your real mother would have pushed you away when she had decided it was time to wean you. You would have learned that further sucking would result in a fed up mum. Humans can't teach us all the stuff we need to know.  Your slave should start gently pushing you away each time you do it and turning her back on you or leaving the room immediately afterwards, withdrawing her attention. In a word, she must try to wean you.
I don't usually recommend too much co-operation with humans. They get above themselves too easily. But this is a rare exception when you should try to co-operate, Jake. What you don't want is to develop a real eating disorder and become one of those cats that starts eating the dressing gown rather than just sucking. I don't think this will happen to you, unless your biological mother or father were Siamese. It seems to be a breed thing. But it might.
I also think too much affection or dependence is bad for humans. They should not be given the impression that we need them (except for food and shelter). Cultivate a little distance from her, Jake. Don't become a cat who loves too much. Keep your pet in her place. She may be your foster mother but remember she is your intellectual, social and physiological inferior.

George.
PS. Don't get too worried by this. Cats that persist in suckling their humans usually come to no great harm. It's the dressing gown, not the body parts, that worries me!

7 comments:

  1. ha ha - good points pal. I take it you are still suckling then?

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  2. Don't create the co-dependency thing with your human mummy Jake! It's not healthy for either one. It might hurt a bit but both of you will survive! I know what I'm talking about (actually I'm talking from my experience) and somehow once created ...it's worse for us then for them. They are more needy then us but they can make us be needy just to fulfill their emotional need or fill in the emotional void.
    Love
    Cayenne

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jake, spend quality time with your human and no sucking or crying! You both must went through some tough (emotionally)experiences and all you have now is one another.
    Instead of sucking and whining...play and do things together. Regain your joie de vivre!
    Love
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amigo, don't be such a suck! She's taken advantage of you! Don't play her game. Grow-up!
    Diego

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  5. I don't know for how long you are home alone during the day but you might get pretty bored like I do.
    I need all the attention when my mom comes home but I don't want to look weak so I have a better method then sucking. I got her a special brush and I DEMAND her to brush me for hours :-)
    maybe I'll send George a letter and a photo
    Hugs
    Shumba

    ReplyDelete
  6. CAT VictoriaNovember 30, 2012

    Jake, you look so cute! You human must be very much in love with you!
    If you don't find a cat whisperer ....get more sporty interaction with your human; play chasing each other, or good games that will tire both of you and then we'll sleep better.
    CAT Victoria

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  7. Jake.....you are a girl with a boy's name! Excellent! More power to you!
    You are beautiful. Relax and relax and relax! Make sure you get some treats too :-)
    Love
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org