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Friday, December 16, 2011

What the best dressed dogs are wearing.


Dear George,
Here I am ready to celebrate Christmas in my special reindeer costume. I hope you admire it. I think I look gorgeous.
My family often dress me up at Christmas and they laugh a lot at me. I am the centre of attention for hours in these clothes. You know how Christmas can be hard for us animals - everybody ignores us. Well in this reindeer costume, nobody could ignore me.
What are you going to wear for Christmas, George.
Willow

Dear Willow,
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, I worry about dogs. I really do. Imagine letting a human being put clothes on you. (OK, I admit there was one year when Celia put a Santa Claus hat on me. She waited till I was sound asleep, popped it on and took a rapid photo. I shook it off immediately -- a bit too late to stop the photo,alas.)
We cats do not take kindly to being dressed in human clothes. I want to suggest to you, Willow, that you make it clear you will no longer suffer these indignities. On Christmas night, when the humans are asleep, I recommend tearing the reindeer costume to pieces. And, if you can stomach it, eat it or part of it.
I am keeping a sharp eye out to make sure there are no dressing up plans this Christmas for me. I don't mind if Celia dresses up as a cat and paints whiskers on her cheek - the dumb creature can try to imitate me if she likes. I know she admires me so much that she has thought about this.
However, I am not going to stand for any reindeer heads on me. Nor do I want to look like Santa Claus. He has whiskers, admittedly, but he is a member of an inferior species.
George.
PS. Willow has just emailed me to tell me she is a deer-hunting breed, which explains the choice of headgear. She says it is the ultimate Christmas trophy. Mmmm, maybe, but I don't go around wearing a stuffed rat head, Willow!

10 comments:

  1. One word - Willow, REHOME!
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, no! That's my dog, Willow. I lived with her when I was a kit. She always was a show off. Ever since she was Miss September on a famous dog food calendar she has wanted to be a film star.I need to have a word with her.
    Happy Christmas and love to all my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Diego's comment made us chuckle. We agree with Diego if George's advice doesn't work. Apes usually have no dignity whatsoever and they have no shame trying to make us lose our dignity either.

    Any ape who thought about dressing us up, better have some prosthetic arms lined up.

    Oliver and Gerry
    (claws out)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Willow, where are you? I don't see any dog :-)
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  5. Guys, make me understand! A house bunny "having" a dog who is dressed up as a reindeer and wants to be a movie star! I'll feel like fainting!
    Are you all on something?
    Frederico

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rudolph, is that you? Just kidding!
    Willow, you are too beautiful for this. Take George's advice - torn that thing to pieces and let your humans clean the mess!
    Max (the dog)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Willow, tell your humans that dressing up dogs is so obsolete at least in Paris! Better....suggest a Chanel collard or leash.
    Oliver, the poodle from Paris

    ReplyDelete
  8. Willow, you are beautiful! You don't need to be dressed up to get attention; just wreck the Christmas tree or eat the turkey and you'll get lots of attention - guaranteed!
    Merry Christmas to you, your family and all cats & dogs
    Hugs
    Cayenne

    ReplyDelete
  9. Willow, if your parents will be vegetarians like mine....you'll probably be dressed up as a carrot!
    Refuse to wear anything else but your skin. Go "natural"! I trained my humans quite well - they are good mannered and obeying human pets!
    Love
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org