Saturday, September 10, 2011

I am in love with my cat sitter, I think?


Dear George,

My name is Alfie and I was adopted about 3 years ago from a pond. I was the last to be adopted only because people found me being “too black, too skinny and too ugly” based on their no-sense standards. So, I’m grateful to my human parents who adopted me the way I am. I’m even more grateful for all the love and care they give me. Recently I was found having a hyperthyroidism problem and I’m currently under medication.

But, my problem is of a different nature! Let me tell you what happened if I may! For the longest time my parents never went away. Lately they start going away for 3 days at a time or, mostly for a week. Of course, my mommy arranged with one of her friends to “cat-sit” me. So, actually it’s a couple cat-sitting me; he comes in the morning but in the evening they come together. They bring me toys, new food (better tasting that mine), we play and we talk a lot. She calls me “Alfonso, my love” and he calls me some funny nickname in a strange language that actually sounds very nice.

George, my problem is that I found myself wishing for my parents to go away more often. I don’t want to hurt their feelings ….but, I think I’m in love with my cat-sitter. What can I do? My mommy already mentioned that lately I became more talkative Probably my humans thought that because of my modest origin I don’t have a rich vocabulary, but I do. And I think I’m handsome too, otherwise why would she call me “Alfonso, my love”? So, George, help me with my two questions please; one – I need some tips regarding some sort of maintenance for my hyperthyroidism and second - how can I share my feelings without hurting anybody?

Alfie/Alfonso


Dear Alfie,
You are worrying yourself unnecessarily. Stop thinking about your humans and start concentrating on getting your own way.
We cats often love more than one person (as do humans, actually). Your feelings are quite normal. Indeed many cats with a cat flap set up a second home further down the road or just round the corner. It's particularly useful when our humans leave the house all day and switch off the central heating in the winter. Down the road we can find a lonely person whose heating is on during the day and who may even offer us a better class of cat food. Two-timing is what humans call it: I just call it looking after my own needs.

So far, so good.... Our perfectly natural behaviour, however, sometimes upsets our humans. It's not as if humans don't two-time each other: they do. But they don't like it being done to them. Puursonally, I would show your feelings openly to your first family (so to speak) because with a bit of luck, they will try to be nicer to you. Indeed, it doesn't hurt to put on a sorrowful and unhappy air when they come back from their holidays/vacations. Humans feel something they call "guilt." We cats do not do guilt. But a guilty human is often a human who buys better cat food or gives us more games, more space in the bed, and more tickling behind the ears. Make guilt work in your favour, Alfie.
Hyperthyroidism is a breeze nowadays. Medication should work well. If you don't like the taste of the pill, or the inhumane way humans stuff it into your throat, purrsuade them to buy EasyTabs or Pill Pockets. These are meat flavoured pellets hiding the medication. They taste good....
Remember, Alfie, we cats rule. We cats do what we like: humans do what we like. What's ours is ours and what's theirs is ours.
George

6 comments:

  1. This human was always miserable when I left Oscar Snuggles and Sweet Pea. That's why in their advanced age I never left them.

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  2. Alfie, it's perfectly ok to play off your humans with the house sitters. It will inspire your humans to work harder for you and worship you more with tender morsels, softer beds and ever more subservience. It's ok to love whoever you want Alfie. George is right.

    This is gonna sound like treachery and betrayal, but - remind your humans to get the v-e-t to check that your thyroid medicines are still working right. Teddy (a cat who came before) used to get really vocal when he needed his medicines readjusting.

    Our Mum thinks you are a really handsome mancat

    Gerry & Oliver

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  3. Alfie/Alfonso.....I envy you! My cat-sitter talks constantly telling me stupid stories!
    Who wants stories? I want to go out mousing!
    Diego

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  4. I'm with you Alfonso! I had once a wonderful cat-sitter! Of course, I fell in love with her. She was taking better care of me them my mom.
    My cat-sitter knew more about cats then my parents (she taught them few things)
    Sometimes I dream of her :-)
    Tom

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  5. Make them work hard to gain back your heart, Alfonso! If they want you to be their "Alfie" they have to prove themselves!
    You are too beautiful not to play games :-)
    Love
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Humans should not leave cats alone or with somebody else! They should stay home and be our humble servants!
    Sebastian

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org