Saturday, October 13, 2007

I am showing my disapproval


She came back late last night. I could feel the adrenaline on her. If she had fur (poor human, she hasn't except in the wrong places) it would have been crackling with electricity. She was high as a kite with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Being a 63-year old antique human among the teenagers in an Agricultural college had really stressed her up.
I couldn't help showing my pleasure at her return. Of course, as any good human trainer knows, all obedience training must always be consistent. And I am afraid I wasn't. To err is human, to purr divine. I am afraid that by purring I was erring and letting her realise I was pleased to see her. I should have been punishing her for her absence.
Today I am making up for that lapse. I went out in the morning without noticing her. I hunted all through the morning and this afternoon, instead of coming in and perhaps sharing my bed with her for an afternoon nap, I am continuing to hunt. Active ignoring is the key to all human training. Reward good behaviour (such as feeding, petting etc) with purrs and ignore bad behaviour. Claw and teeth punishment should be reserved for truly bad behaviour only.
As I walked insolently past the glass of the kitchen door I heard her say: "Where IS George? He usually comes in about now." Good. I hope she misses me for a few hours. That's nothing to the six full days of her absense from cat duties. Tonight I shall sleep in the wastepaper basket instead of on my bed. I did this one night that she was away - to the mystification of Ronnie, deputy carer. The point about the wastepaper basket is that she can't get into it with me. That'll teach her.
PS. Special note for Oscar Snuggles and any US cats. Cheek is like chutzpah. So "the cheek of it" means "what insolence!"

3 comments:

  1. Mate, thanks for the meaning of "the cheek of it". I too get upset when my human are absence for any periods of time. They leave me for the day, but have yet to leave me for a week. I don't know if I would ever speak to them again. However, when they come home after being gone all day, I LET THEM HAVE IT! I just won't shut up! I keep on and on and on! They will FINALLY pick me up and just hold me for a time, that I love. Then if I keep on they will put me on their bed and cover me with my blanket. That I really love.

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  2. The laundry basket looks horribly uncomfortable, but that of course is the point; it makes them feel dreadful. I occasionally make a point of sleeping on the landing. It's ghastly on the hard, draughty floor, but it works a treat. My people wonder why I'm shunning them and make huge efforts to get back in my good books. As you say, it's all in the way you train 'em.

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  3. You are quite right on the training George. You've got to keep them in check and show them where their loyalties lie.
    We had a sick hedgehog in the house last week, I was excited to see her finally pick up on the hints and bring something alive home rather than just packets. Then really strange things happened - we didn't have a jolly family hunting session indoors as expected - instead she fed it good quality food and bought it a "hoggy home"! this sort of unpredictable and irrational behaviour demonstrates how close an eye we need to keep on them. For their own safety and sanity of course.
    Smudge

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Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org